Love

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  • Advertisements for myself

    A hilarious collection of self-deprecating personals from the London Review of Books illustrates the gulf between high-minded Brits and Americans looking for love.
  • Love, or biology?

    Research suggests that women prefer men whose genetic makeup differs from their own.
  • How can great love just stop, just like that?

    It was perfect. It couldn't have gotten any better. And then like a switch it turned off.
  • Daddy dilemma

    My fiancee is 70 percent against kids. The clock is ticking, and it's up to me to convince her to do something I'm not sure about either.
  • Our Alice

    In this week's New Yorker, Calvin Trillin writes an astoundingly beautiful portrait of his marriage to his late wife, Alice. Read it and learn.
  • People love me but I can't feel it

    Since childhood, I feel only a great emptiness.
  • A marked woman

    When I decided to get a tattoo with a man I'd only known for two weeks, my children worried I'd lost my mind. But I knew that whether it was in ink or emotions, love would always leave me scarred.
  • What to Read

    Toni Morrison's devastating new novel, Edmund White's Dickensian romp, a new novella from Steve Martin and the rest of October's best fiction.
  • Watching my marriage end on the big screen

    The first time I watched "The Secret Lives of Dentists," based on a novella I wrote about my divorce from the father of my daughters, I laughed all the way through it. The second time I didn't.
  • What broke the deal?

    A photo of Oliver North, wildly untamed pubic hair, a guy who kept pronouncing "phallic" as "fay-lic" ... and other discoveries that ended the date.
  • An antique institution

    When my first marriage ended, I thought I'd figured one thing out: Don't ever get married. Not if you enjoy sex. And then I met Janet.
  • Dating deal breakers revealed!

    Dentures, skid marks, knit ties and other things to avoid if you want to hook up.
  • Dating deal breakers

    "Would you like to hear some of my poetry?" And other things you shouldn't say if you want to score.
  • Sure, you can play Kenny G. Just don't ever call me again

    You've done it to someone. And somebody's done it to you. It's the deal breaker, and it's the pettiest way to weed people out.
  • Dearjohn.com

    The night before El Wimpo broke up with me by e-mail, we were steaming up the bedroom windows with our passion.
  • Mixed signals

    "If you lay a hand on me," she said,"I'll break every bone in it." Then she told me to lick the tuna fish off her finger.
  • Laying Las Vegas

    He's a bad boy, a croupier. I'm a bad girl: I've done threesomes, I've done videotapes, and I did another guy last night. We should be the perfect couple.
  • My bigoted valentine

    He was a good-looking pilot and he wanted to fly me to romantic places. Then he began ranting about gays, peaceniks and "p.c. girls."
  • He had me at "allo"

    My Ukrainian composer spoke no English, had carpetlike back hair, and smelled vaguely of cooked cabbage. What's not to love?
  • "Are you desperate yet?"

    That was his opening line. And I still went home with him on our first date.
  • The ultimate mood kill

    As he made his way down to my belly, I felt something strange on my left breast.
  • The plan that backfired

    I wanted her to loosen up, so I got her drunk. And it was working too -- we talked dirty, we made out. And then the inevitable happened.
  • Paradise in the parking lot, Part 2

    The cad speaks! Will last week's villain emerge as this week's hero?
  • Paradise in the parking lot

    I called him from my cell right after he dropped me off. "I'm masturbating," he said. I'd found my true love.
  • The curse of underwear ignorance

    Encountering my thong, he yelped, "Your underwear doesn't cover your butt!" Right then, I knew my dream of great sex would not come true.
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