Heaven and Hell

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  • Rise to the occasion

    I spent 24 hours with him stark naked, doing my best. My best wasn't good enough.
    April 16, 2003

  • Love came to the leather bar

    It was a one-night stand -- until my shrink told me to follow the guy cross-country.
    April 9, 2003

  • Blonde seeks Jew

    I just love men with prominent noses and liberal attitudes.
    April 2, 2003

  • Elvis from heaven, Elvis from hell

    He talked about his hair, his one girlfriend who went on to marry a creep, his hair, his painting and plastering career, his hair, journeying to Graceland and, lest we forget, his hair.
    March 19, 2003

  • So much for the porno fantasy

    She'd said she was a cheerleader, but she looked more like a football.
    March 13, 2003

  • Spill your guts

    Match made in heaven, or match made in hell? Salon wants to know.
    March 13, 2003

  • Smooching Sybil

    I had to break up with him five times -- once for each of his personalities.
    March 5, 2003

  • Jcofnanazareth.com

    Online he dazzled me with his mastery of biblical history. But over dinner, he pressed me to sleep with him no fewer than a dozen times, once for each apostle.
    February 26, 2003

  • She had me from the time I typed LOL

    We made a routine of waking up, making love like jungle monkeys, pausing for me to call in sick to work, and then back to the monkey sex.
    February 19, 2003

  • "No, I don't want to cuddle"

    I told him I don't eat fish and I don't drink. He took me to a seafood restaurant and brought along three bottles of wine.
    February 10, 2003

  • "You told her the TRUTH? You idiot!"

    He thought honest feedback would help him score. It didn't.
    February 3, 2003

  • The dud and the stud

    Her date was boring, broke, and blocking her view.
    January 27, 2003

  • The "spy" who shagged me

    An undercover squeeze returns from the dead with a tale only the CIA could love.
    January 21, 2003

  • Double take

    He was in love with himself -- both of them. Dr. Jekyll was hot; I had to dump deceitful Mr. Hyde.
    January 13, 2003

  • Claws for alarm

    When she heard his insanely long toenails click on the hardwood floor, she knew the love affair was over.
    January 6, 2003

  • On the blink

    Word to the (online dating) wise: Never assume your guy has two eyebrows.
    December 23, 2002

  • The naughty and the nice

    One woman's sexual deviant is another's perfect date.
    December 17, 2002

  • A real stiff

    He passed the makeout test, but then insisted I remain motionless when we were having sex.
    December 11, 2002

  • Heart burn

    We had great sex -- then he returned from his honeymoon.
    December 2, 2002

  • Love's last laugh

    A whiskey-soaked night of sex and head lice, and other tales from the shores of online romance.
    November 18, 2002

  • Match made in heaven, match made in hell

    True-life tales of lust, horror -- and marital bliss -- from the world of online romance.
    November 11, 2002
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