Garrison Keillor

⇐ newest Page 2 of 15 oldest ⇒
  • London's best show in town

    The theater is great, but it can't compare to the Daily Telegraph's dogged campaign to expose the corruption in Gordon Brown's government. 2,200 pounds for moat cleaning, anyone?
  • Cheney: "We are what we are"

    In other words, we're Republicans. We will not bend our principles to please people we didn't like in the first place.
  • Moms love the bad eggs more

    She devotes her life to a creep like Larry, but what about me? I'm the son who does everything I can to make her proud.
  • Let war crimes be bygones

    We don't need to round up a few Bush-era criminals to settle political scores. We just need some truth, and then we need good train service.
  • Save our national sense of humor!

    Since when is farting on a sandwich a felony? People have been grossing each other out for centuries and it's no time to stop now.
  • Write a poem. Get the girl

    The real message of Poetry Month has nothing to do with rereading Eliot or Wordsworth. It's all about winning the favor of women.
  • The real American dream

    In spring, a person's thoughts turn toward what you would rather be doing than earning a living, and in this country that means Being An Artist.
  • At AIG, we're all about people

    When I resigned from the board, right after my bonus was approved, there were hugs all around and cries of "We're leaving too!"
  • Where's my disability check?

    In my line of work, forgetting words should qualify me for a fat pension. You know who else ought to get one? Clueless Republicans paying homage to Rush.
  • When your brother dies

    You are left disinherited, unarmed, semi-literate, an exile. There is one less person to remember your childhood with.
  • You think this is cold ...

    In my day, if the 45-pound icicles didn't get you, the coyotes would.
  • Last words

    A bit of advice: Stay off the obituary page as long as possible. There's no telling what they'll write about you.
  • America loves its second acts

    It's time for Washington's ex-celebrities to diversify. I'm seeing Rush making action movies, and Ann Coulter single-handedly reviving female pro wrestling.
  • Bereft

    Getting a note of appreciation from John Updike could buoy you up for weeks. Now who's left to bless us?
  • A hopeful people

    Never mind the last eight painful years. We see the new, fresh faces in Washington and we expect them to do the right thing and serve the common good.
  • A new America emerging

    Six-block lines, Arctic weather, packed trains -- none of it mattered. We can believe in our country again.
  • Girlish, moody fiction? No thanks

    What readers really want is dastardly deeds by dark, despicable men, or saucy wenches with pert breasts displayed like fresh fruit on a platter.
  • The cheerful idiot

    As the Current Occupant imagines his legacy emerging golden and shining in a hundred years after all of us are deceased, you and I go on.
  • Christmas without translation

    When you don't understand the language, it's easier to find the dumb childlike wonder that's the essence of the season.
  • "Do not flush while seated on toilet"

    It would be easy to miss those seven simple words next to the flush button in the airliner bathroom. Pay attention, or ruin your life!
  • A New York kind of holiday

    Christmas is all about pleasure, food, bright lights, high spirits, glittering trinkets, razzmatazz. It's pure Broadway.
  • What were you thinking?

    Midwesterners usually go south to misbehave, not to the handicapped stall in a Minneapolis men's room at halftime.
  • How I cope with the economic turndown

    With column revenues down, I must make some hard choices. I will now spend 15 minutes writing these 750 words. Thank you for your patience.
  • The snow shovel is the secret of happiness

    Winter is what we were meant for. Even we older guys in heart-attack country attack the snowdrifts for the sheer heroism of it.
  • Wow! America is cool

    We are being admired by Swedes! We don't have to pretend we're Canadians. We elected Barack Obama!
⇐ newest Page 2 of 15    oldest ⇒

From Salon's blogs