family systems - Salon.com http://dir.salon.com/topics/family_systems/?source=rss&aim=family_systems en-us Copyright 2007 Salon.com. Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST I slept with my brother's roommate! By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/12/16/apology/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/12/16/apology/index.html?source=rss He told me not to, but we got drunk and did it anyway. Can we flee my husband's family? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/09/03/fathers_suicide/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/09/03/fathers_suicide/index.html?source=rss They'll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Can I help my cousin escape her squalor? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/08/21/hope_for_cousin/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/08/21/hope_for_cousin/index.html?source=rss My mother's family is out of control. I'd like to rescue one promising member without being swallowed up My dad, the surgeon, is drinking By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/08/12/drinking_surgeon/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/08/12/drinking_surgeon/index.html?source=rss He's hiding drinks and breaking things, and I don't know what to say I told my sister's deep, dark secret By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/08/04/secrets/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/08/04/secrets/index.html?source=rss First she informed me, then she asked for confidentiality. By then, I was trapped! Angry people scare me By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/07/24/anger/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/07/24/anger/index.html?source=rss I have a history of abuse and I can't handle people yelling My mother is crazy -- what can I do? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/06/08/insane_mother/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/06/08/insane_mother/index.html?source=rss She has persecution complexes and paranoia, which is why she won't see a doctor! I cannot watch violence on TV or in movies By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/05/15/tv_violene/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/05/15/tv_violene/index.html?source=rss My family thinks it's just entertainment, but it leaves me anxious and sleepless. Sleeping with the in-laws By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/03/20/in_laws/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/03/20/in_laws/index.html?source=rss His parents are small-town farm people and I don't like them! Dad's a drifter with a secret By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/03/11/drifter_dad/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/03/11/drifter_dad/index.html?source=rss I found out my father's having an affair. Should I tell my mom? I can't give a compliment to save my life! By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/02/12/compliments/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/02/12/compliments/index.html?source=rss My withholding of praise goes deep, I know -- but I want to change! Do I have to shun my cousin's ex? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/01/29/family_loyalty/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/01/29/family_loyalty/index.html?source=rss She's still focused on how awful he was. Am I wrong to hang out with him? I'm not ready to be a stepmom By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/01/13/kid_with_nanny/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2009/01/13/kid_with_nanny/index.html?source=rss If I marry, I get a 16-year-old who can barely take care of herself. My 13-year-old niece is out of control By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/11/24/13_year_old/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/11/24/13_year_old/index.html?source=rss We took her in because her home life was unbearable. Now my home life is unbearable. I asked my wealthy brother if he was getting a prenup; his new wife is furious Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/11/20/privacy_and_prenups/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/11/20/privacy_and_prenups/index.html?source=rss I thought discussing it was reasonable. She says I'm invading her privacy. I'm fighting a religious war with my mother-in-law By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/11/10/religious_mil/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/11/10/religious_mil/index.html?source=rss I'm a Unitarian Universalist and she's a fundamentalist: Can this kinship be saved? Should I leave my husband because he won't quit smoking? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/10/24/wont_quit_smoking/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/10/24/wont_quit_smoking/index.html?source=rss I know it sounds crazy, but the smoking is making me insane; I figure maybe if I left he'd get the message. My niece was adopted 35 years ago -- and never told! By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/09/18/adoptee/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/09/18/adoptee/index.html?source=rss I feel that she should know the truth -- but should I tell her? Alone in South Africa with a drunken husband By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/09/05/south_africa/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/09/05/south_africa/index.html?source=rss I left the U.S. when I got married and now, with three grown children at home, I feel torn. My whole family is alcoholic. How to protect the kids? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/06/12/alcoholic_family/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/06/12/alcoholic_family/index.html?source=rss My mom says she won't drink when she's around them, but then she'll have a beer. Will my boyfriend ever want kids and marriage? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/06/10/wanting_kids/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/06/10/wanting_kids/index.html?source=rss He recoils at the idea now, but he's only 26. Should I assume he'll change? Or move on? I'm an exhausted caregiver on the point of collapse By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/06/04/exhausted_caregiver/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/06/04/exhausted_caregiver/index.html?source=rss In caring for my sick husband and father and my demented mother, I feel I've ceased to exist as a person. What happened to all my dad's money? By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/05/19/dads_money/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/05/19/dads_money/index.html?source=rss He remarried, he moved, and now all his savings are gone! My mother-in-law put a curse on us and spat in my husband's face By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/04/07/mother_in_laws_curse/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/04/07/mother_in_laws_curse/index.html?source=rss I really think we are cursed now, because I am not Greek. How do I remove the curse? I'm having a European family feud By Cary Tennis Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:12:00 PST http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/02/11/family/index.html?source=rss http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2008/02/11/family/index.html?source=rss Our last visit to my family in Europe erupted in acrimony among the siblings.