From Letterman sidekick to "Get a Life" to, um, Dogbert, Chris Elliott -- a true alt-comedy innovator who might be funnier than Andy Kaufman -- just can't get no respect.
Mariah Carey pins eating disorder on comedian's swipe; Marilyn Manson preserves foreskin for posterity; and "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" Why, Miss Marla Maples, of course!
Farrakhan's calypso days come back to haunt. Plus: Lewinsky, art lover; Regis gets aggro; and Hasselhoff, Hasselhoff, let down your trunks ... Knight Rider leaves "Baywatch" in the dust.
No piece for Prince William; Bruce Willis for president? CSN&Y: Almost cut my hair, then I remembered I didn't have any. Plus: Lewinsky TV show slur -- a low blow!
Fawcett shirks blame for wacko Letterman turn (but still takes responsibility for '70s hairdo); Jesse Helms has a big, big, big vocabulary. Plus: Israel says Tarzan's loincloth's gotta go!