Christmas

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  • Have yourself a horny little Christmas

    Looking at the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog makes me want to buy their clothes, but I'm too exhausted from self-abuse.
  • "Elf"

    In Jon Favreau's irresistibly goofy Christmas comedy, Will Ferrell is raised by Santa's elves but must find his real family in Manhattan.
  • Christmas in Silver Street

    In snow-covered Victorian London, a 17-year-old prostitute and a little boy celebrate the season.
  • The gift of virus

    In the spirit of the holiday season, a tale of one man who clicked too soon but discovered that missent e-mail can still lead to a wonderful life.
  • Lynda Barry

    It's a Fred Milton Christmas Spectacular!
  • Lynda Barry

    The subject of Dad
  • In forsaken country

    The erotic enlargement was startling, a vision of otherness that I could never truly understand.
  • A lost Claus

    The U.S. government has made it official: Santa doesn't exist.
  • The family that steals together

    Our Christmas tradition has shades of Hunter S. Thompson.
  • Better pageantry through science

    Holiday programming hits a nonreligious apex at my kids' school.
  • Porn for the holidays

    Since when does family fun include a sadomasochistic Santa and leggy reindeer?
  • PlayStation2 anyone?

    Your child's merry Christmas is my hostage.
  • All I want for Christmas is ... an e-mail program that works

    Here's a real-world year-end wish list for people who actually use computers.
  • Being Frosty Jr.

    My father was the voice of the cartoon snowman, and I melted with humiliation.
  • A Christmas miracle

    For a man alone for the holidays, a Christmas trick is the gift that keeps on giving.
  • Reindeer games

    A man in Florida displays humping deer in his Christmas lawn display.
  • Buy humbug!

    Xmas fills the air with dashed hopes and chicken nugget-eating depression. These holiday pranks will keep your misanthropy at bay.
  • Have a very Wookie Christmas

    The dark, ugly secret of "Star Wars" is a "Holiday Special" banned from TV forever.
  • The glory days of e-commerce are over

    Broke and stingy e-tailers have taken all the fun out of online shopping.
  • "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

    You will not like it on the screen, you will not like it -- not one scene!
  • Is the party ending?

    Despite upbeat economic readings, it may be a less cheery Christmas than most think.
  • The tyranny of "Abercrappie"

    My brother is under the spell of a company that promotes the frat-boy free-for-all.
  • Don't call me Mrs.

    When the local Catholics couldn't face my surname, I went church shopping.
  • Letters to the editor

    Confessions (and tips!) from a wine-toting overhead bin hog Plus: Do algebra flashcards and soccer practice create thumb suckers? In defense of John Rocker.
  • Fat Guy says eat up and shut up

    Food is unhealthy only if you stress over it.
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