A speed-of-light cultural flyover covering McCain, Koresh, guns, Hillary, "G.I. Blues," a heartfelt appeal to the Winslet Brigade, "Star Trek" and, well, you get the idea.
In case all that talk about entrance polls and exit polls wasn't enough to get you lathered up, our man probes the inner secrets of TV on the caucuses.
The Iowa caucuses are more than an election-year sideshow -- in the past, they've resurrected sinking campaigns and helped catapult obscure candidates like Jimmy Carter to the White House.