#ifdefPERV/MUNCH

But what of Silicon Valley's infamous romance with the BDSM community,

#endif

class girl_with_secret
{
public:
char upstanding;
long dresses;
friend bend_over_boy;
private:
char *safeword;
double strap_on;
}

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Security smartypants Dan Farmer is just as well known for being a sadist/top as for his SATAN Net security hole detection program. Dominant Robin Roberts, a computer scientist whose career began with the Univac in 1957, says there's always been an overlap between geeks and weird sex: "The elaborate negotiations of S+M courtship are like network protocols and handshaking." And just to give one more =personal= example, when I was at a dinner in Palo Alto with many fine and friendly computerists, one of my companions knew without prompting who wrote the three-part alt.sex.bondage FAQ -- a guy with a stellar Silicon Valley engineering risumi. An entire segment of "Beyond Computing," a weekly public radio show produced in San Francisco, was devoted to what host John Rieger called "geek whacking."

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#ifdef SPANKING_PADDLE_BIRTHDAY_PRESENT

fetishwear and role-playing and fantasy and polyamory and play parties in the Santa Cruz mountains and in dungeons in the Haight?

#endif

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enough to keep former theatrical costumers very busy and solvent

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#ifdef IF_I_HOLD_HER_THIS_WAY_HOW_WILL_SHE_RESPOND

But only true believers blaspheme; all the get-up and foofarah don't demonstrate a basic comfort with sex, but instead a comfort with observing rules and following them -- gaming as it were: a programmer's, rather than a sensualist's, delight. Object-oriented sex-play. It's a case of the most important sexual organ being between the ears --- but not in a good way. if (this rule applies) then {do that} else {do this} repeat until (1=0).

#enddef

/* call repeatedly between puberty and death */

short findlover(char * bplace, int accent, float networth)

{
if ( !strcmp(bplace,"usa") && (networth > 100,000))
return TRUE;
if ( (!accent) && (networth > 250,000))
return TRUE;
if ( networth > 2,000,000)
vreturn TRUE;

/* bzzzt, but thanks for playing! */

return FALSE;

}

#ifdef SPECIAL_CASE

Of course it's not all sexual repression and lack of fulfillment in the valley: As anywhere, there are tons of happy couples. Historically there have been the organizations High-Tech Gays and Digital Queers (now subsumed into GLAAD). As well, Trekkies, Sci-Fi fans, Society for Creative Anachronism members and, more recently, techno-pagans have always found ways to pair off.

#endif

/********WARNING**********/
/* there be dragons here */
/********WARNING**********/

struct daemon_state {

int wizardflag;
short magic_cookie;
char * attend_midsummer_group_goddess_celebration;

}

#ifdef FROM_SERVER_ROOM_TO_BOOM_BOOM_ROOM

Possible changes in the sex life of the valley are afoot with the recent overlay of many sleek frat-boy venture capitalists and their ilk. It's not for nothing that last year San Francisco, and not Manhattan, was the place graduating MBAs indicated they most wanted to work. At least in a certain strata in the valley, mating habits will look more and more like those of New York during its "Liar's Poker" Wall Street boom years. What will happen to the disembodiment of high-tech (online gaming! shopping! virtual everything!) as Silicon Valley, with its dot-com fever, ever more resembles a swarm of arbitrageurs and currency traders attempting to spoof global markets, rather than a nest of technologists trying to engineer something they believe in?

And the rise of the Web/South Park/SOMA enclave spurred by Wired has meant media types and liberal-arts flakes have infiltrated the valley to some degree. It's interesting to contemplate what might happen when a comely female sysadmin, originally trained in international relations, ends up talking at a party to a well-meaning male Unix wizard about which windows managers they prefer. Will she =still= just want to be friends? Or will love of open-source software conquer all?

#endif

These lines have never needed to be Y2K compliant.

/* end of file */

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