Birthdays all over

The candles in the cake represent life, burning brightly for a short time and then snuffed out. The person blowing out the candles is saying, "This much of my life is over -- I'll never get it back, but I still have the breath of life within me and I am in control. I will blow away the past and start anew with this wish."

We celebrate some birthdays more than others. The first is important because it means that the baby has made it through the perils of its first 12 months. Sixteen marks the person as a fully sexual being. Eighteen was a recent addition, coinciding with the eligibility to vote.

In theory, 30 means that a person is fully responsible. In the ancient world you became a citizen only upon reaching your 30th birthday. In ancient Greece a man did not marry before 30. I'm sorry I didn't know this when I was in my 20s.

Forty is when a person begins what is usually considered the second half of his or her life. And at 50, even though you are probably about to enter the first decade where your experience begins to pay off, you are aware that the end is approaching. Until very recently, 65 meant retirement and everything after 70 was a celebration of sheer survival.

In Asian societies it is customary to note the number of years a person has lived but not to pay much attention to the actual day of birth: At New Year's everybody is a year older. In China everyone is categorized by a specific year in a 12-year cycle -- those born in the year of the Tiger, the Dragon or the Ox.

Interest in the day of one's birth reflects an interest in measurement, and modern American society takes that to an extreme. Governments and institutions categorize you by your age, tell you when you can drive, when you can vote, when you can have a beer and when you can take a bus at a discount rate. They even tell you when you're too old to order from the children's menu -- something I do quite often from the privacy of my hotel room, which saves me hundreds of dollars on my room service charges. They don't care about your feelings on any of these issues: The numbers are in control. The number of candles on a birthday cake dramatizes this system and, at some level, signifies obedience.

Never fear, there's also a candle-free way to celebrate: At your request, your congressperson can arrange for a personal American flag to fly over the Capitol in Washington on the specified date. Afterwards, you receive the flag and a certificate noting the date the flag was flown and in whose honor. The cost of the service, the flag and the certificate is under $20. You can even order your flag directly off the Web on this special order form. And for many of us this is the most economical and personal act the federal government will ever perform our behalf. So happy birthday.

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