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Wednesday, Dec 3, 2008
According to news reports from Aug. 31, a rat was sighted on an Air New Zealand flight from Los Angeles to Auckland via Papeete, Tahiti. That's right. A rat. The coarse-haired, pink-tailed, long-snouted rodent that, along with the aforementioned cockroach, will one day inherit the Earth.
"The rat was sighted by crew, but their attempts to catch it failed when it ran to the rear of the aircraft," said Air New Zealand spokesman Cameron Hill. (Yeah, right. Most flight attendants get squeamish if they're asked to carry a loaded barf bag to the lavatory. Try to get one to corner and catch a rat, and see what kind of response you'll get.) "Later in the flight," Hill continued, "a passenger in business class felt something on her right leg, lifted her blanket and found the rat on her knees."
Now that's something to scream about.
When the flight finally landed in Auckland, quarantine officials were there to meet it. A search of the airplane (and passenger baggage) failed to turn up the rodent, which, according to witnesses, was the size of a small cat. The plane was subsequently quarantined and fumigated.
Seven weeks earlier, on July 6, a similar fiasco took place aboard an Air India flight. This time the plane was preparing to depart Dubai, United Arab Emirates. As the New Delhi-bound aircraft rolled down the taxiway prior to takeoff, passengers reportedly shouted that there was a rat on board. Passengers and crew disembarked while the plane was fumigated. Sixteen hours later the plane was finally on its way, but the rat was never found.
Canadian Airlines joined the in-flight rat race back on Feb. 17, 1996. Apparently, a clever rodent escaped from a catering container shortly after the plane took off from Hong Kong. Realizing the potential problems a loose rat might create if the plane continued all the way to Vancouver, the pilot decided to divert the aircraft to Tokyo. Passengers were subsequently booked on another flight.
Many were angry, not simply because of the inconvenience, but because they suspected the rat was a prank. It seems that the plane, filled with holiday merrymakers, had taken off near the start of the Chinese New Year, which had begun the preceding Monday. The Chinese calendar works on a 60-year cycle, with the years grouped under 12 revolving animal designations: tiger, dragon, snake, monkey, rabbit, horse, sheep, rooster, dog, pig, ox and one other. You guessed it. The Chinese New Year of 1996 was the "Year of the Rat."
Which brings us back to my flight to New York. After the on-board cockroach episode, our plane landed at LaGuardia without further insect appearances. But later that night, after partying in and around Greenwich Village, I found myself staggering past Washington Square Park. Beneath the glow of dim-watted street lights, I saw movement from the corner of one out-of-focus eye. Although the park was closed to humans at this late hour, it was crawling with rats. Dozens of them. Maybe more. They scuttled around the rim of metal trash cans. Bolted between lonely tufts of grass. They bounded happily through the blighted plaza like children who'd been let out for recess. OK, I was somewhat inebriated. But I swear some rats formed a conga line on the seat of a broken park bench.
Perhaps that 24-hour global simulcast of the Jerry Springer show has already begun.
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