Site Presented By
Monday, Nov 9, 2009
I screened job applicants over the phone for a company I didn't work for. My favorite part: Arrogant middle managers who suddenly began to grovel when they realized I wasn't the receptionist.
Feb 4, 2003 | I started working at the Phone Center because, as an actress, I needed a crappy day job. I had found work bartending, but as the least senior person on the schedule I wasn't getting any hours, and I seem to be constitutionally unsuited to temp work.
The Phone Center seemed like a good alternative. Less-brainless-than-usual work, steady part-time hours that meshed well with the bartending, and a casual dress code. The basics of the job were simple: We screened job applicants for companies that didn't feel like doing it themselves. The applicant would see an ad and call a number, thinking they were calling Company X but really getting us. I answered the phone according to whichever company name popped up on the display: "Thank you for calling Company X, may I have your extension number, please?" (The Phone Center higher-ups always claimed that as of that moment I legally worked for Company X, but I never quite believed them.) Then I used the extension number to pop up a script in my computer about the position. The lucky applicants who met the company's standards were sent on to interviews with people who actually worked for Company X, as opposed to just on a per-call basis.
We never told someone that they hadn't met Company X's standards. We just quietly hit the F7 key that aborted the interview and popped up a polite little blow-off speech, then trusted the computer system to fire off a rejection letter. The letters were usually dumped out in batches every two weeks, and every now and then an F7 would call to check his status. "You didn't get a letter yet? You should be getting one very soon..." was the most I was supposed to do, but it was still awkward. The worst to deal with was an F7 who had called back because her friend had called the same day and gotten an interview. Why was she only getting a letter? There was nothing I could say in those situations that didn't make me sound like a complete weasel.
Most of the scripts were pretty easy. Factories, apparently, are in a constant state of hiring and don't stand much on ceremony. The questions pretty much stuck to "Are you willing to lift heavy loads that may cause back strain?" and "Are you legally allowed to work in the United States?" Yes and yes? Bingo, you're in.
Some of the factory jobs sounded pretty terrible. "Your work week will consist of three twelve-hour shifts a week, and you will be constantly lifting loads of 35 pounds or more during your entire shift." I began to understand why the factories always needed to hire more workers. If the person on the other end sounded really nice, I'd silently root for them not to take the job. "C'mon," I'd think, "wouldn't you rather join the customer service industry like me?" But nice people, as a rule, want jobs so they can pay their bills and support their families, so the nice ones always took the job.
Not all the applicants who called were nice, and that's where the ratings came in. Employment recruiters, as we were called, were so thoroughly screened ourselves that we were both trusted and encouraged to give our input on the applicants. (Admit it: You just got a little jealous, didn't you?) The quick-and-dirty rating was a simple 0-9 that we filled in at the end of the interview, but there was also a comment screen that we could flip to. It was important to note why the applicant had been rated a 4 or a 9. I was astonished at how many people didn't know you're supposed to Eddie Haskell it up a bit during a job interview. People ate their lunches during the phone call. They swore and insulted me. A few guys decided to go for broke and hit on me. I always told them that we were in different states, but it never bothered them.
It was an interesting skill set to develop. I learned 10-key data entry, and how to read instructions without missing a beat of my speaking script. I got good at taking notes on both what the applicant was saying and how he was saying it. I learned that no matter how strong a dislike you've taken to someone, if you force your mouth into a smiling position you still sound friendly on the phone. Most important, I learned to sum up people's personalities in three words and a number so I could get to my next call. And when I got bored, I practiced my Sultry Receptionist voice.
