Earthlink, do you read me?

[partial message:]

To: "Peter Y. Sussman"
From: "invoice.inquiry@mindspring.com"

This automated message is to inform you that we have received your email. This is not a response to your inquiry.

You should be receiving a personal response from one of our representatives as soon as possible. We answer all questions in the order in which they were received.

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Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 23:26:27 -0400 [EDT]
To: "Peter Y. Sussman" peter@psussman.com
Subject: Re: "EarthLink Invoice #48021202, Please Read" (KMM4435329V80992L0KM)
From: "service@mindspring.com" service@mindspring.com

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Earthlink Customer Service.

We will be more than happy to do this for you. However due to security reasons you will need to contact us at 1-800-719-4660, option 2. When you call please have your secret word and/or last 4 digits of your credit card available so we can confirm your identity.

If you have further questions, please feel free to contact us.

Thank you,
Chris P.
ECS Representative
EarthLink Customer Service
service@mindspring.com

#1 Provider of the Real Internet

Email Case ID: H 1764880

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Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2001 23:36:37 -0700 [PDT]
To: "service@mindspring.com" service@mindspring.com
From: "Peter Y. Sussman" peter@psussman.com
Subject: Re: "EarthLink Invoice #48021202, Please Read" (KMM4435329V80992L0KM)

You've got to be kidding. Am I talking with a person or a machine? This is the same stock answer you sent me several messages ago. Then, when I protested, you sent me a message apologizing for your confusion. Now we're back to repeating old messages. We're going around in circles here. I feel like a character in a novel by Kafka.

Peter Sussman

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[partial message:]

To: "Peter Y. Sussman"
From: "invoice.inquiry@mindspring.com"

This automated message is to inform you that we have received your email. This is not a response to your inquiry.

You should be receiving a personal response from one of our representatives as soon as possible. We answer all questions in the order in which they were received.

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Date: Sat, 14 Jul 2001 05:41:02 -0400 [EDT]
To: "Peter Y. Sussman" peter@psussman.com
Subject: Re: "EarthLink Invoice #48021202, Please Read" (KMM4438750V3366L0KM)
From: "service@mindspring.com" service@mindspring.com

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Earthlink Customer Service.

We are unable to determine the nature of your inquiry from your email communication. Will you kindly resubmit your question so that we may assist you.

We welcome the opportunity to be of service to you.

If you have further questions, please feel free to contact us.

Thank you,
Chris P.
ECS Representative
EarthLink Customer Service
service@mindspring.com

#1 Provider of the Real Internet

Email Case ID: H 1764880

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Date: Sat, 14 Jul 2001 10:21:03 -0700 [PDT]
To: "service@mindspring.com" service@mindspring.com
From: "Peter Y. Sussman" peter@psussman.com
Subject: Re: "EarthLink Invoice #48021202, Please Read" (KMM4438750V3366L0KM)

You asked me to resubmit my question. Can't you go back to the beginning of this message? Perhaps whatever machine is reading this message can refer it to a human being? OK, here is my question, cut and pasted from the material at the bottom of the message you sent me:

[Here, for typographical clarity, the reader will have to visualize long strings of characters that look like this: > > > > > >.]

Why do I keep getting these bills? I have an Earthlink account, too, but this bill is for the Mindspring account (pys@mindspring), which is a remnant of the sale of my old ISP to Earthlink. The Mindspring account is not and has never been a fully operational email address or account, it is only for mail forwarding to my Earthlink account, which is pys1@earthlink.net. The only charge on this account was to be the initial $15 for six months of forwarding. That was charged to me in early May.

Please explain, and please straighten this out. There should be no charges that I know of on my Mindspring account after the initial fee.

Peter Sussman

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[partial message:]

To: "Peter Y. Sussman"
From: "invoice.inquiry@mindspring.com"

This automated message is to inform you that we have received your email. This is not a response to your inquiry.

You should be receiving a personal response from one of our representatives as soon as possible. We answer all questions in the order in which they were received.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 00:26:41 -0400 [EDT]
To: "Peter Y. Sussman" peter@psussman.com
Subject: Re: "EarthLink Invoice #48021202, Please Read" (KMM4490730V43956L0KM)
From: "service@mindspring.com" service@mindspring.com

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Earthlink Customer Service.

You are receiving seperate [sic] invoices for both accounts?

If you have further questions, please feel free to contact us.

Thank you,
Chris P.
ECS Representative
EarthLink Customer Service
service@mindspring.com

#1 Provider of the Real Internet

Email Case ID: H 1764880

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On July 27, I received my credit card statement, with the $5.95 Earthlink charge, confirming that the amount on the e-mailed invoice for my Mindspring account had indeed been charged to my credit card. That evening, I called Earthlink customer service, negotiating my way for a few minutes through various promotional and informational messages and phone-tree branches. When I finally got to the branch I wanted -- billing inquiries -- I half-heard a recorded apology -- something about an unusual number of inquiries. I waited for another 15 minutes or so until a real person answered.

The real person patiently heard out my complaint and then said he wasn't sure if his computer had access to that account. But after much audible clicking of keys, the real person finally found the Mindspring account in question. He began explaining that the MasterCard charge was for Web space.

"But I have no Web space on that account," I began to reply. "It's purely a forwarding address for which I paid a one-time-only $15 fee, which was charged to my MasterCard when the account was ..."

Suddenly, I became aware of a telephone "busy signal."

"Hello?" I said.

"Hello?"

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