The current volume of JP Fleets International lists approximately 2,600 registered commercial operators on six continents. Deciding which of these has the absolute worst name is a tough chore, with qualifiers ranging from Germany's Lips Flugdienst to Ukraine's Kroonk Airlines to a tiny Kenyan outfit known as -- I am not making this up -- Trackmark. My favorite used to be a first-place tie. We had the nervy confidence of Russia's Kras Air, described by one wag as "always just an 'H' away from infamy," and the do-it-yourself spirit of Taiwan's since shuttered U-Land Airlines.

However, none of these names is as good, which is to say as horrible, as that of a nine-year-old Spanish charter line called -- are you ready? -- Air Plus Comet. This operator of 10 or so Boeings and Airbuses was presumably named by the CEO's 4-year-old daughter. Additional raspberries are owed to upstart companies like Britain's MyTravel Airways and our own USA 3000, the Philadelphia-based subsidiary of Apple Vacations Inc. It's good to be ahead of your time, but a whole millennium?

Of course, there are often issues of translation and cross-cultural confusion at hand. I have no idea what U-Land was truly all about, but Lufthansa, Aer Lingus and Aeroflot, to pick three, are little more than local-tongue variants of the word "airline." Meanwhile, an insignificant charter company in Africa doesn't have to care, necessarily, what its name happens to connote for people in the United States (particularly in the brain of some smart-aleck columnist).

In line with my fondness for clever and evocative logos, I've always been a fan of carrier names that utilize cultural associations or bestow a little nuance. We're accustomed to the likes of Air France, Air New Zealand and South African Airways, but there's nothing more boring than a carrier that takes the easy way out, exploiting the name of its country and nothing more. Avianca is a gorgeous word; "Air Colombia" would be awful. Olympic will always be better than "Air Greece," and Iberia is pleasantly rich compared with, say, "Spanish Airways" (or the atrociously titled Spanair, which actually exists). Malev is infinitely better than "Hungarian Air," and Varig wins any day over "Air Brazil." The national carrier of Bhutan is Druk Air, which raises its share of snickers among travelers to that sheltered Himalayan kingdom, but nonetheless has an almost mysterious ring that beats anything so dry and predictable as "Air Bhutan."

Exotic-sounding Garuda is the airline of Indonesia, borrowing its name from a Hindu deity. It's perplexing in that Indonesia is the world's most populous Muslim country, but let's not bicker, lest it be switched to "Air Indonesia." Such things occasionally happen. I always found AirLanka to be a nice choice -- self-explanatory while not blatantly obvious. Alas, as part of a makeover some years ago it became SriLankan Airlines.

If you insist on directly invoking your homeland, please do it with a bit of flair. KLM (Royal Dutch Airlines), Royal Air Maroc and Royal Jordanian are examples (the latter was formerly called Alia, dubbed in honor of the late King Hussein's daughter). Elsewhere, Air-India throws in a hyphen, don't ask me why, while EgyptAir and Syrianair employ the camel-cap or all-in-one methods.

Here in the States we have only one country but an obscene number of airlines, leaving little room for variants that pay homage to our homeland. American Airlines and US Airways have more or less cornered the market. Others have clung to labels they've literally outgrown, though people don't always mind, or even notice. Thirty-five years ago, Southwest Airlines was an intrastate operator confined to the boundaries of Texas. Today, am I the only one who ponders the incongruity of hopping a Southwest jet between Providence, R.I., and Baltimore, Md.? For that matter, what's so northwesterly about flying Northwest Airlines from Bangkok to Tokyo?

Considerably more troubling are those airlines that seem to be in the throes of total geographic disorientation. We question the wisdom, not to mention the navigational skills, of a Portuguese charter company that dares to call itself Air Luxor. Air Sahara comes from India, a good 3,000 miles off course, and how about Air Atlanta, hailing from Reykjavik, Iceland. What does Iceland have to do with Georgia? Nothing, and Air Atlanta admits to picking the name at random.

Northwest's homey geographic association is ironic, considering the convolution of compass points that constitute the airline. Known as Northwest Orient at the time, it merged with Republic Airlines in 1985. Republic was itself the recent amalgam of North Central Airlines, (Minneapolis), Southern Airlines (Atlanta) and Hughes Airwest (Phoenix).

Then again, is it even Northwest anymore, or merely "nwa," as displayed on its jets in coyly affected lowercase? (And yes, a certain implication of "nwa" is duly noted. Presumably the execs in Minneapolis were aware of this, figuring the namesake L.A. gangstas had drifted far enough out of the pop culture consciousness to justify use of the letters.)

This lowercase thing is growing more and more popular. Chile's highly regarded airline LAN now goes by Lan, while the former Yugoslav national carrier JAT, founded in 1947, is now Jat Airways. JAT used to be an abbreviation for Jugoslovenski Aerotransport. (And note how its typeface and stylings are a shameless JetBlue knockoff.)

Among the mainline U.S. competitors, I have a soft spot for Delta. The word is crisp, is easy to say and remember, and avoids fumbling with any obvious regional reference. The Atlanta-based giant, originally founded in Monroe, La., takes its name from the famous southern terminus of the Mississippi River. If you happen to know that, all the better, but to most people it has a generic appeal much like the names of many cars, though immeasurably more potent than, say, a clunker like AirTran.

Qantas, by the way, is not the name of an indigenous Australian marsupial. It's an acronym for Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Service. Old-fashioned, complicated and perfect.

Do you have questions for Salon's aviation expert? Send them to AskThePilot and look for answers in a future column.

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