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Tuesday, Nov 24, 2009
The global knitting community irritatedly waves its needles at the pilot. Plus, more entries in the voluminous media errata log.
Jun 17, 2005 | What if I told you that a shockingly high number of Ask the Pilot's readers are, of all things, knitters and crocheters? I knew this column had its share of devotees -- frequent fliers, aerophiles, sentimental fans of forgotten '80s alt rock -- but I wouldn't have expected much attention from the yarn-and-needle set. They're out there, apparently, based on the volume of letters I received in response to a gaffe in last week's column. Before the mistake was fixed, the original June 10 Ask the Pilot -- another trenchant diatribe on matters of airport security -- erroneously maintained that knitting needles were still prohibited on airliners. Well, no shortage of annoyed hobbyists were on to me, pointing out that the rules have been revised. TSA has buckled to the knitting lobby and now allows onboard stitchery with no restriction.
"Knitting and flying is one of those topics that come up over and over again on internet Knitting lists," reader Gail Lucas tells us (the capitalizing of the "K" is hers). "The worst thing a Knitter can imagine is a three-hour flight without having something to knit."
TSA's making a sensible decision is surprising enough, but after a poke around Google I admit being even more impressed, if not exactly pleased, by the sheer vastness of -- what to call it? -- the global knitting community.
Among my discoveries: The lexicon of knitters and crocheters is even richer and more confusing than the one used by pilots, with more acronyms, abbreviations, and bizarre coding than you'll find in the entire manual of Federal Aviation Regulations. Offers the glossary of an online hobby site: "Enter the first few letters of a knitting term, in any language." (I expect to be told that the term "stitchery" was misused above.)
If the airlines were smart they'd be looking toward en route sweater making as a potential source of revenue. "I've flown a lot since the ban was lifted, " writes Gail, "and probably knitted on every flight I took."
Corkscrews too have been given the green light. For a complete list of which metal trinkets you can and cannot carry through security, have a look here.
Despite the government's easing of some rules, and despite your intrepid reporter screwing up the details, my greater point remains: TSA's micromanagement of carry-ons continues to be counterproductive. If not bizarre; note the provision for "toy transformer robots" prominently on the official permission slip. And no sooner were needles and corkscrews freed from bureaucratic bondage when butane lighters -- though not matches -- were consigned to the no-fly list. The rule change came more than three years after Richard Reid used, yes, matches in a failed attempt to ignite a shoe bomb over the North Atlantic.
For me, the seminal nonsense moment (every regular flier has experienced one) came in those twitchy days just after Sept. 11, when I was still in the active employ of a Certain Large Airline. In full uniform, in full view of passengers, a small metal fork was scornfully confiscated from one of my bags. (Yes, used in the consumption of ramen noodles, boiled to perfection in hotel-room coffee makers.) The screener was neither impressed nor entertained when I pointed out that forks were, and continue to be, handed out routinely with first-class meals, and in dozens of concourse restaurants beyond the metal detector checkpoint.
Not to mention there's an ax in every cockpit.
Checking the TSA list to see if the fork ban has since been updated, I'm surprised to see no mention of forks at all. There's plenty of advice on knives, but nothing about forks either way. We wonder why TSA, having bothered to single out robots, meat cleavers and cattle prods, is not aware of this obvious cutlery gap.
We should take a page from the Brits, who back in April relaxed their anti-terror rules to exempt all forms of eating utensils. Carriers such as British Airways have begun providing passengers with a full complement of metal flatware, including flat-blade knives.
Anyway, having penanced myself for the knitting needle error, it's time to deflect further criticism by pointing out somebody else's mistake. For the latest addition to Ask the Pilot's growing media errata log, let us turn to one of our top suppliers, the Associated Press.
