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Thursday, Nov 26, 2009
The yin and yang of Southwest. Also, the conundrum that is JetBlue.
May 21, 2004 | Complaints are contagious, and last week's Golden Pretzel nominations managed to draw a fresh new storm of "you think that's bad" one-uppers to my mailbox. I wasn't planning to share any of these, but here's one that can't be denied:
"In your most recent article detailing your readers' worst airline experiences, I was reminded of a flight I took with Air China. Upon entering the Air China plane in Beijing, I was greeted by the intense stink of urine, whereupon I discovered a puddle of it in my seat from the last passenger. Kindly, I was offered another seat and promptly chowed down the in-flight snack, a bag of dried seahorses."
Aren't seahorses on a list of vanishing species or something? Do they stock the galleys with tiger parts too? Just remember that Air China and the better-regarded China Airlines are not the same, um, animal. The latter is the national carrier of Taiwan. No word of any endangered delectables on China Airlines, though a SkyTrax poll gave them an award for cleanest washrooms.
Such anecdotes, I think, can be therapeutic. We all feel better, don't we, after commiserating? If any of the more hellish recollections posted here during the past few weeks strike a chord, let me know, and with consent from the involved parties I'll be happy to forward e-mail addresses. Those of you with compatible traumas can share your pain in anti-airline chat rooms, or maybe start a lost luggage support group.
Anyway, a final and formal thank-you to everybody who partook in my survey. Admittedly once or twice -- as with the letter from the Philippines that began "Dear Madam" -- I was left wondering if I should trust your objectivity, but the majority of your remarks and observations were poignant, insightful and constructive.
The trickiest part, both for you the voter and me the interpreter, was adjusting to the platform of lowered expectations. Should we be happy, worried or neither that Southwest Airlines drew about equal numbers of best and worst ballots? Honestly, I'm not sure. Does this airline, and others like it, actually sell a pleasant (enough) experience, or have passengers resorted to gauging satisfaction simply by measure of relief -- relief that the plane wasn't hijacked, nobody screamed at them and their luggage wasn't rerouted to Mongolia?
All things considered, the criteria should rest in between. Do they?
"Southwest Airlines. Arrivals and departures always on time; employees always considerate, funny and friendly; planes always clean and well-kept; and they are the easiest airline with which to make reservations via phone or Internet. And their prices rock! If Southwest is an option, I take no other."
"I thoroughly detest Southwest's cattle call boarding procedure -- the Wild West notion that it's every man for himself. This survival-of-the-fittest mentality is barbaric. I also loathe the colors of the planes and the mass-transit look of the interiors, reflecting not only a general lack of taste, but an attitude that says aesthetics are not important in life. But the worst aspect of Southwest is the demeanor of the staff. Southwest embodies the Wal-Martization of the skies, and the flight attendants are the greeters, complete with khaki shorts and Hawaiian shirts."
At first read, the second of those critiques is a pretty ringing indictment. Then again, maybe the writer, with his snooty overtones of elitist indignation, is hopelessly out of touch. I'm reminded of a mid-'90s episode of "The Simpsons": "Ah for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit," sayeth the dowdy curmudgeon Sideshow Bob. "Long before every Joe Sweatsock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham."
I happen to agree both with Bob and the letter writer. However, I make that judgment with ticket prices removed from the equation. Be advised that, on average, airfares in 2004, measured in real dollars, are about the same as they were in 1988, while none of our beleaguered major carriers, excepting those perennial bulls from Texas, is even close to profitability.
