Thursday, Jul 24, 2008
Most Comedic Consequences of Providing Worthless Choices:
The American Pharmaceutical Industry. As reported by John Leland in the New York Times, the new prescription drug cards -- all 73 of them -- have ushered in a whole new roster of amusements for seniors and their families. By ensuring that the choices are incomprehensible, overwhelming and ultimately rapacious, drug companies are adding a whole new dementia to our lives as stressed-out Americans.
Leland interviewed retirees and others in their late 70s through 80s about the fun of spending endless hours hunched over a computer searching government Web sites in order to evaluate mystifying answers to life-and-death questions. For many, the thrill of finding an elusive clue to the drug card mystery is heightened by such challenges as not owning a computer, loss of vision, chronic back pain, and, in a dramatic twist the government never saw coming, seniors having better things to do with their time than log on to "Medicare, She Wrote."
To keep the stakes high and the merriment never-ending, not even the people charged with clarifying the drug discounts for seniors will be given the answers. What a hoot!
"Even the person who came to explain it to us didn't understand it," said Mary Shen, 77, at the Whittaker Senior Center on Manhattan's Lower East Side. "It's not fair to expect seniors, who have enough difficulties already, to have to figure this out." Oh, come on, Mare, be a sport. It's just a card game anyway. It's not like you're playing for real savings.
Jolliest Budget Mix-up During a Time of Senseless War:
The U.S. Defense Department. Shortly before Bush administration officials presented Republican congressional leaders with a request for $25 billion in Iraq funding this week, Secretary of State Colin Powell was telling members of the Congressional Black Caucus that no such request would be forthcoming.
The request itself has tired old eyes crinkling with laughter. Many folks want to know why those lovable scamps in the Defense Department are requesting only $25 billion more for a war that has already racked up $300 billion in costs at a rate of $4.7 billion per month and counting. This would put costs for 2005 alone at more than $50 billion minimum, says the Center for American Progress. That's even before factoring in little things like the Pentagon's plan to station at least 135,000 troops in Iraq for all of that same year.
We haven't been so deliciously punked since the administration helped itself to funding for dozens of projects in Kuwait that cleared the way for war in Iraq while keeping Congress in the dark. Wolfie, Rummy -- superb job, you guys. Here, buy yourselves some credibility and a shred of decency. It's on us.
An additional lifetime "Low Point in Service" award goes to Rumsfeld in Iraq last Thursday for dodging penetrating budget questions from troops who dodge bullets: Will the military pay for soldiers' airfare home? Will the military stop refusing coverage for the physical therapy of one soldier's handicapped child? Will Rumsfeld explain how his plan to reduce the number of troops in Iraq is served by increasing the number of troops in Iraq? Did you fend off these questions? Yes. Will you do so again? Sure.
Well, folks, that's our show for now. Expect many more Brass Ball awards to be handed out to America's funniest moneymen and women, as they boldly grub where few have grubbed before. We'd like to thank our sponsors, the American taxpayers and the Society for the Preservation of Nonvoters for making this spectacle possible. G'night!
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