Be flexible.

Bill Van Luyn and Nancy Miller of Grand Rapids, Mich., were flexible -- just not flexible enough. As reported in the Washington Post (June 28), Van Luyn had logged 26 years with Steelcase Inc., the world's biggest furniture maker, having worked his way up from shop floor to product development, when he was offered a choice of severance pay or a spot on the assembly line. He took the latter and is now recovering from surgery on his right hand so he can undergo surgery on his left. Likewise, Miller rebounded from the loss of an engine parts job at $15 an hour by taking on an even more demanding job at $9 an hour. Too bad she lost the tip of her index finger to a metal press, but as employment counselors like to say, it's important to keep your hand in.

Be efficient.

According to the IRS, the 400 top-earning U.S. taxpayers nearly quadrupled their income over the past decade. As the incomes of the top "earners" soared -- and these are people who net more in the time it takes to delegate an espresso than a paramedic would gross at the end of a bad traffic day -- the percentage they paid in federal income tax dropped from 26.4 percent to 22.3 percent. Very efficient indeed.

On the other hand, average taxpayers, who once celebrated 3 percent raises that didn't keep pace with inflation, and have since adapted to pay cuts and heavier workloads, saw their taxes rise from 13.1 percent to 15.4 percent. How efficient are they?

Be prepared.

Eager to break into the booming housecleaning market? Well, not so fast there, hotshot. Before you qualify to rake in $8 an hour without benefits, an increasing number of employers expect you to prove that you own a car. Well, that makes sense. After all, anyone piling up as much as 12 thou a year (assuming they scrape poop off toilets and inhale toxic cleaning products at least 35 hours a week) ought to be able to finance a reliable vehicle, plus insurance, fuel and auto maintenance. Provided they don't fritter their money away on housing, food, utilities and day care.

Be positive.

Need a role model for your quest to become a corporate Pollyanna? Look no further than Labor Secretary Elaine Chao. When the national unemployment rate (including 5.5 percent for white adults, 11.8 percent for black adults, and an equal-opportunity 19.3 percent for all teens) surged to its highest level in nine years, Chao was soothing. The increase, she explained, was largely due to the fact that 611,000 people who'd previously given up looking for work had decided, what the hey, they'd give it another go. Which, she reasoned, proves they're feeling optimistic.

After all, people wouldn't go looking for jobs if they didn't believe that jobs were out there somewhere, right? Why, that would be like looking for weapons of mass destruction without reliable evidence of their existence. (Oh, that's right, according to the new memo from BringItOn Corp., we didn't go to war because there were weapons. We went to war, Rumsfeld says now, because we knew Iraq had weapons programs. Rummy and Chao must attend Toastmasters at the same waffle house.)

So try the Chao approach on your next workplace calamity: "Two more departments laid off this week, you say? Hmmm, that's 45 more consumers with time to shop. The economy is saved, yaaaay!"

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Remember, once you have a job, keeping it is easy. Just be a team player, stand out from the pack, put on a happy face, look serious, be innovative, don't rock the boat, consider all options, stay focused, communicate openly, keep your own counsel, treat your staff like family, keep your personal life out of the workplace, swim with the sharks and keep your powder dry.

And while you're at it, pat your head while rubbing your tummy. Yeah, that'll do it.

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