One side benefit I get from watching with my daughter is that I have the chance to learn a little more about her. When the women are in a store looking at vibrators, she asks me, "What's that?" My daughter is at an age where I am no longer privy to details about her private life. Only through covert ways such as this can I get a sense of how extensive her sexual knowledge really is.

And then there's the monumental subject of blow jobs. Scary stories have been appearing in newspapers and magazines about girls as young as 13 liberally giving boys blow jobs. Before "Sex and the City" I'd managed one conversation on the subject that included the warning that if she ever did engage in such an activity, don't give if you aren't receiving. That's when I was feeling cocky that she wasn't in fact about to put a boy's penis in her mouth. I myself was of the "You want me to suck what?!" (said while screwing up eyes in disbelief) school of thought (punch line for "Why do Jewish American Princesses have crow's-feet?). But after seeing my daughter's crowd engaging in some sexy dancing they call "grinding" (picture lap dancing standing up) I realized that maybe they were further along (and less inhibited) than I imagined.

My daughter, of course, did not want to discuss blow jobs with me.

"Mom, have you been reading those magazines again?"

"I just want to keep the lines of communication open."

"OK, but you're bothering me, OK?"

"I just worry that one of those jerky boys you know might pressure you into doing something you aren't ready for."

Imagine my horror when she responded in this I am more mature than you are voice: "Mom. Some of them aren't jerks."

Well. Thank God for the show where they talked about blow jobs. As usual, all four women had their own opinions, and their discussion provided a great overview on the pros and cons. Plus, it gave us the perfect opportunity for a second talk. I started out by emphasizing that she really shouldn't be engaging in that sort of behavior.

"Mom, I'm not stupid," she said.

I said it wasn't a matter of intelligence, but peer pressure. That's when she put her hands over her ears and started chanting, "I'm not listening! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!"

I continued on, saying she was not ready ("I'm not listening!") and the boys most certainly aren't ready for the emotional intimacy that needs to exist between a couple for that behavior to take place.

Maybe her hands were over her ears, but she heard.

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