Teens, sex and God

A 15-year-old finds that her church fosters hatred and fear when it should be about tolerance and love.

By Ariel Amundsen

Dec 13, 2000 | "Oh my God! That movie was sooo gay!"

"How can a movie be attracted to another movie of the same gender?"

(Long pause) ... "You're, like, a lesbian!"

How many times has this conversation been repeated in the halls of my Catholic high school between me and one of my peers? The worst possible thing that could ever be said about a person, a movie or even an item of clothing is that it's "gay." God help you if you ever question this idea, or you'll be labeled a "fag" or a "dyke" (a stigma that can follow you for years, as I've found at my school).

It occurs to me regularly that for a supposedly tolerant and loving religion, Catholicism seems to foster quite a bit of hatred toward gays and lesbians. Take, for example, the religion text my class read last year, which told us that God hates the sin of homosexuality because it is immoral and an abomination in his eyes. The Catholic school system drills it into teenagers that homosexuality is evil, and that homosexuals are "perverts" and "deviants."

Perhaps this is not the best idea. Last spring, there was a list circulated at my school titled "Top Ten Gays at Saint Angela's." A few of the kids on the list were beaten up and had to be pulled out of school for a couple of weeks to recover. The school continued to have us read the same religion text, with no changes. I tried to bring it up in one of my classes, but was immediately shushed and threatened with detention if I didn't stop talking. I know a few kids at my school who are gay, and I can only imagine the fear and pain they must go through every day, hearing slurs like "faggot," "rugmuncher" and "fudgepacker" tossed carelessly through the air like Frisbees. There is no doubt in my mind that these intolerant attitudes contribute greatly to teen depression and suicide, and can escalate into hate crimes. If gays and lesbians are deviant, and Catholics are taught to reject and despise what is not "morally right," then it would only make sense that Catholic teens pick up this idea of "If Jesus hates fags, religious leaders (e.g., Jerry Falwell) hate fags, then I can hate fags too!"

I talked to a friend of mine about the topic of church-fueled hatred of gays (she comes from a strongly Catholic, Italian-American household). She said that although she disagrees with intolerance and prejudice toward minorities, she excused the Bible's condemnation of homosexuals as a "product of its time." I found that a lot of my friends agreed with her. I also noted that a common mind-set among Catholic teens is that homosexual acts are not only disgusting, but also that supposed homosexuals are to be avoided at all costs.

I learned this lesson firsthand. In homeroom one day last year, I noticed two very popular girls giggling and pointing at me. My first thought was that I had something in my teeth, so I self-consciously ran my tongue along them. Still, the giggling continued. I figured there must be something wrong with my clothes -- a bra strap showing, a button undone -- so I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing wrong or out of place at all. On my way out of the bathroom, I ran into a friend. I told her about what had happened in class. She gingerly explained that there was a rumor (for the record, untrue) flying around the school that I was a lesbian.

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