He wants bigger boobs

Dear Cary,

I have a firm belief that men are generally pigs. I have seen them all -- nice, bad, good, and scary. I have given up on them. I am not writing to seek some sympathy or empathy (from your lady readers), but just to seek some truth. I always enjoy reading your column, mostly because I get to see my theory on men reinforced consistently. I get a chuckle or two out of reading the depressing mess caused by these so-called men.

However, going back to the truth I sought out in the beginning: Cary Tennis, are you in fact a female? The reason I ask you this question is simple. You don't fit the "pig"-syndrome criteria. Your writings project a female voice and your empathy for women's issues seems unusually too good to be true. You are nurturing, introspective, seemingly kind and gently sisterly. I am forced to take time in my busy schedule and write down an actual e-mail on much ado about nothing! Forgive me if I sound a little irritated; it seems that I cannot cope with the realization that there is an actual man out there who is not a pig!

Totally Irritated

Dear Totally Irritated,

Don't worry. I, too, am a pig. But I am a well-trained pig. Just ask my wife.

Next Page: Am I being unreasonable?

• View blog reactions