What could go wrong at a polling place?

But if the voter then spoils a second ballot, you think, we could have used one of those other two fresh ballots. So you think, Why don't we hold onto these two unspoiled ballots in case the person spoils another one? Especially after the guy next in line makes a comment about all the trees it's taking to do this election. So then you're holding three ballots in your lap, one of which is spoiled and the other two of which may be spoiled or may not be spoiled, and the next person in line speaks only Mandarin and isn't on the roster of voters. He's a man who comes every year and every year you give him a register card and every year he comes back and he's still not on the roster. And he speaks only Chinese.

But this year you have Tre Wan from Taiwan who speaks Mandarin, so she gets up from the table and starts talking in Mandarin with this man and the younger woman, probably his daughter, who has come to assist him. And he takes his three ballots and goes into the booth. And he comes out and votes and his ballot is rejected, because he's seen the number 4 where you vote for supervisors because we're District 4, so he's voted for four supervisors instead of one.

So now you've got the three spoiled ballots from the one guy plus the man whose ballots are being rejected and you're trying to explain that you need to get a new set of three ballots, one of which will be spoiled, to keep the number sequences correct, and he's saying "No, no, no," and Tre Wan is talking to him in Mandarin and he's shaking his head and then four more people show up in line, one of whom is in the wrong precinct. So while you wait for the guy with the one spoiled ballot to finish and try to find the person's address on a map and then find their precinct address on a list, a guy with a walker shows up, and all the booths are full, so you get him a chair to sit down on.

And then the Muni union operatives from the Democratic Party show up to check the roster of who's voted, and it isn't updated yet, so they want to see the active roster (you keep two copies) and you want to oblige because this is a free and open election and all citizens have the right to observe. Speaking of observing, then a representative of the Leland Yee for Supervisor campaign shows up and you think he's from the department of elections but he's simply a campaign worker but he tells you your provisional voting box isn't set up and it's illegal to just be keeping those pink provisional envelopes in that clear plastic bag that says "provisional envelopes," they have to go in the blue plastic box for which you have no seal and about which you can remember no instructions.

So you say to the man who only speaks Mandarin, "Wait." But he keeps talking. You say, "Let's slow down. We'll take these things one at a time. You, sir: Wait. You in line, hold on. Campaign guy: Wait. Democratic guys: Wait. Man with walker: Wait. We're going to do these things one at a time."

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