Qualified to satisfy you

Barry White's got a new book. He's got a new album. The world population just surpassed 6 billion. You make the call.

By Steve Burgess

Oct 25, 1999 | A recent scientific experiment with a very small sample size revealed that having sex with 20,000 women may result in death by age 63. Back in 1991, when sexual lab rat Wilt Chamberlain first revealed the number on his personal shagometer, Esquire magazine commented: "Let's see, that comes to 2,168 cases of Riunite, 381 crates of Trojan Magnums and one very well-worn Barry White album."

Wilt may be gone, but Barry White is obviously on the comeback trail. Check the evidence -- a new book ("Barry White: Love Unlimited"), a new album ("Staying Power") and a new high in the world's population (recently surpassed 6 billion.) The singer, producer and one-man affront to official Chinese family planning tells all in his new tome, mixing equal parts gritty up-from-the-street tales and soulful romantic counseling. Unlike Chamberlain's autobiography, and despite the implication of the book's title (not to mention the implications of White's entire career), "Barry White: Love Unlimited" is not a chronicle of sexual conquests. White is a different kind of lady's man, the kind who doesn't kiss and tell. "I have come to be called the Guru of Love!" Barry writes. "Of course I appreciate the title, but the truth is I'm not their guru, or anybody's for that matter."

Don't you believe it. White gurus up a storm in his publishing debut, kicking off each chapter with lengthy italicized sermons on romantic and domestic relations. Remember, life is a love song that comes all in the run of a day. Be free to let yourself be enraptured by its music, etc. White's been a love god since he was 14. And that's not the year he lost his virginity -- that's the year he started counseling neighborhood couples on their relationship problems. "By the end of that first year I was seeing twenty-two couples," White recalls. "I'd give them simple, common-sense advice." The disco beat came later.

Some questions you may want this book to answer:

Who is Barry White?

"What the world saw was one part of Barry White, the man who made music. I was, and still am, several Barry Whites ..."

What is the approximate weight of Barry White?

(See above.)

Is Barry White a great guy and talented musician?

Absolutely. Everybody says so. "Uncle Barry," say the three members of his singing group, Love Unlimited, "you're the baddest!" "Barry White! I love you, man!" says Mike Tyson. "B.W., you got to produce my next album," says Marvin Gaye.

What is Barry White's personal philosophy?

"This is the philosophy I live by. I am, you are, and it is."

How old is Barry White?

This press conference is over. The big guy stays coy about his age, but various chronological clues make it clear he was born in the mid-1940s and, from the sound of it, was lucky to have completed his stint as a juvenile delinquent in the era before every macho showdown eventually ended in gunplay. Even so, his brother Darryl ended up a casualty of the thug life. He was shot dead in a petty dispute over small change.

Next Page: Born in a plush velvet dressing gown?

• View blog reactions