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Thursday, Dec 4, 2008
James Joyce: Scholars of infuriating gibberish reinterpret "Ulysses." Turns out it's actually about a busty Hollywood model who gets amnesia and becomes a high-priced call girl after her evil twin steals her fianci, the race car driver. Currently a smash mini-series.
"The Jetsons": They were right about everything. The next Microsoft turns out to be a little Modesto startup making space helmets for dogs.
Boris Yeltsin: Recent shaky appearances suggest that he may be drinking again. Observers say this time he's finally had it and will not last through 2030. Still, history will be kind to the man who laid to rest the last vestiges of the Soviet Union. And while Americans claim that anyone can be president and everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, thanks to Boris Yeltsin every Russian has been prime minister. Sometimes for as long as a week.
Evil Clowns: They've had a lot of bad press, but now we know they're crying on the inside.
Lee Harvey Oswald: New evidence reveals that actually, President Kennedy was involved in a complicated plot to kill Oswald. It worked, too.
"Ishtar": Fifty years later, people suddenly get all the jokes.
Mother Teresa: Sure she was an infuriating do-gooder, but new discoveries are made among her personal belongings. Mother Teresa's world-class collection of velvet Crown Royal bags and the private scrapbook of her early wrestling career really humanize the old girl. Besides, she helped people, damn it.
The Ku Klux Klan: Now universally congratulated for gathering all of the world's slope-headed morons into one easily visible pack, where they can then be fried by satellite laser cannons.
Yoko Ono: Forget about it.
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