Boobs out of hell

Meat Loaf stacked, Dan Quayle whacked, Ricky Martin mocked -- it's just "la vida" as usual.

By Amy Reiter

Sep 9, 1999 | It was only a matter of time. The virulent strain of mammiferous self-approbation that's overtaken Hollywood has found a new -- and willing -- host in that granddaddy of man-breasts, Meat Loaf.

In a Time interview, the portly singer talks about his hooters -- excuse me, his "bitch tits" (the preferred coinage of his publicist) -- in the tenderest of terms.

"I have these enormous breasts," he says, discussing the ways in which his most recent part pushed him to take personal growth to a new level. Mr. Loaf plays a man who takes female hormones to battle testicular cancer in the upcoming film "Fight Club."

So does he love them? Will he love them forever? Did he find paradise in his own dashboard lights? "Everyone wanted to touch them," he admits to Time's Joel Stein. "It gives you an idea how if you're a woman and you have these great-looking breasts, everybody wants to feel them."

He would know.

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The Gloved One's loved one

"She's a warm, cuddly blanket that I love to snuggle up to and cover myself with."

-- Peter Pan wannabe Michael Jackson on Elizabeth Taylor, the woman he calls "Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, the Queen of England and Wendy" all rolled into one, in the October issue of Talk.

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Queen for a day

Ricky Martin can say what he likes about wanting to settle down and start a family, but at least one famous drag queen's not buying slick Ricky's straight talk.

At New York's Wigstock last weekend, potty-mouthed Lady Bunny took the stage for her penile revision of lil' Ricky's big hit, "Livin' La Vida Loca." Her version? More like "la Pinga Loca."

"Hint," said the carrot-munching entertainer to the wickedly bewigged crowd. "I'm not the first queen to sing this song."

Bunny ...! You've got some 'splaining to do!

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Naked she came

"The nude scene was not in the script. It was Sharon's suggestion."

-- Albert Brooks on Sharon Stone's flashy turn in "The Muse."

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Juicy bits

Hey, how come Marilyn always has to do the dirty work? Former veep Dan Quayle has retracted his own call for a candid confession from George W. Bush and left his trash-talking wife, who recently pronounced Dubya's circumlocution "cute" and "sad," hanging out to dry. "I think there ought to be a statute of limitations on this nonsense," Quayle sniffed to the Boston Herald. "I could care less whether you inhaled or didn't inhale back in college or whenever it was." A (grammatically challenged) statement that's somehow both cute and sad.

Middlebrow literary pretensions are out. Skin is in. Or so sayeth arbiter of bad taste Howard Stern. The raunchy radio host is hoping to out-endorse Oprah Winfrey with his new "Adult Movie Pick of the Month Club." And Brian Gross, the aptly named spokesman for Vivid Videos, the porn peddlers behind Stern's first pick, "Seven Deadly Sins," says Stern's support is already heating up sales. "Howard doesn't endorse anything he doesn't really believe in," Gross tells Nothing Personal. "He has always enjoyed the Vivid product."

File that under "Too much information."

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