As the same-sex marriage debate erupted last month, Protestants for the Common Good, a religious education and advocacy group based in Chicago, saw fit to publish an anonymous opinion piece in its weekly newsletter, which outlines a marriage amendment perhaps worthy of the Taliban. The piece alarmed many liberals and was fast circulated on the Web as the latest example of hard-line conservative propaganda:

"The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: 'Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government.' This is true.

"Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

"A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

"B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

"C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

"D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

"E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

"F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

"G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)"

But apparently the opinion piece was widely misconstrued: The managing editor of the organization's newsletter, Bridget Stevens, told Salon that Protestants for the Common Good viewed the piece as pure satire and posted it to spark debate about the perils of appropriating the Bible to define marriage law.

Meanwhile, the aforementioned Presidential Prayer Team -- a private organization claiming to be entirely nonpartisan so that it is "free and unencumbered to equally serve the prayer needs of all current and future leaders of our great nation" -- is appealing to the big guy upstairs on several important issues:

"Pray for the President and his team in the effort to codify marriage as being between one man and one woman. As more than 2,000 couples have now been wed and hundreds continue to flock to San Francisco for unlawful unions, pray that the legal questions surrounding this practice will be soundly answered, resulting in a godly recognition of the sanctity of marriage as being between one man and one woman. Pray that a spirit of moral decency will arise in America.

"Pray for the release of vital intelligence that will lead to the capture of Al Qaeda operatives and the arrest of Osama Bin Laden.

"Pray for the President as he meets with 9-11 Commission Chair [Thomas] Kean and Vice Chair [Lee] Hamilton. He will discuss information relevant to the Commission's work, providing testimony that will help with their mission."

"The bloodiest, most brutal example of sustained sadism ever"
Critics continue to blast Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion of the Christ," conservatives included. The movie pulled in more than $117 million during its first week in theaters, and some have grudgingly credited Gibson's "mad genius" for fanning a media firestorm ahead of the movie's release. But whether Gibson was motivated by commercial ambition or pure religious vision, many are worried that his gory, provocative version of the Crucifixion will do grave damage. Conservative New York Times columnist William Safire says Gibson has effectively hijacked religion and sent the standard for film violence plummeting to a dangerous new depth.

"The word 'passion' is rooted in the Latin for 'suffer.' Mel Gibson's movie about the torture and agony of the final hours of Jesus is the bloodiest, most brutal example of sustained sadism ever presented on the screen.

"Because the director's wallowing in gore finds an excuse in a religious purpose -- to show how horribly Jesus suffered for humanity's sins -- the bar against film violence has been radically lowered. Movie mayhem, long resisted by parents, has found its loophole; others in Hollywood will now find ways to top Gibson's blockbuster, to cater to voyeurs of violence and thereby to make bloodshed banal..."

With the global reach of American pop culture and technology, Safire wonders -- as have many of the film's detractors -- whether Gibson's "Passion" will fuel a rising clash of civilizations.

"At a moment when a wave of anti-Semitic violence is sweeping Europe and the Middle East, is religion well served by updating the Jew-baiting passion plays of Oberammergau on DVD? Is art served by presenting the ancient divisiveness in blood-streaming media to the widest audiences in the history of drama?"

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Read more of "Right Hook," Salon's weekly roundup of conservative commentary and analysis here.

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