King Kaufman's Sports Daily

If Peyton Manning and five other QBs do the impossible, a shoe company will generously donate $1 million to charity. No, really: Impossible. I'm matching the offer.

Sep 15, 2005 | Reebok -- there's the company name in print: Mission accomplished! -- has "promised" to donate $1 million to charities on one small condition. A group of six NFL quarterbacks has to do something a little less likely than simultaneously getting hit by lightning.

On a Tuesday. Wearing green shoes. In January.

In the daytime. West of the Mississippi.

While singing "Paper Moon."

In Latin.

The shoe company says it will donate the million to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and to the quarterbacks' own personal charities if the handpicked "RBK Touchdown Squad" combines to throw 207 touchdown passes, which would break last year's NFL "record" of 206 thrown by the top six in the league.

This is the kind of corporate giving that's so irritating it gives "giving" a bad name, never mind "corporate." It's an empty press release. I have a better chance of breaking Peyton Manning's single-season TD pass record than this group has of throwing 207 touchdown passes -- and Manning's in the group.

The others on the squad are Donovan McNabb, Matt Hasselbeck, Mark Bulger, Chad Pennington and Byron Leftwich. If up to two of them miss games, they'll be replaced with "subs" Alex Smith and Eli Manning.

What happens to the million bucks if the six quarterbacks, who were picked not because of their proficiency at throwing touchdown passes but because of their affiliation with Reebok, fail to throw the 207 scores? I should say when they fail.

Reebok spokeswoman Diane Pelkey said she didn't know, but if the record isn't broken, "We're still giving some money in the way of Reebok equipment to the Boys and Girls Clubs." She wouldn't say how much, but did say it wasn't anything like a million dollars' worth.

Pelkey also noted that if any of the six quarterbacks breaks Manning's record of 49 touchdowns in a single season, Reebok will donate $50,000 to that quarterback's charity.

I asked Pelkey why, if Reebok has $1 million earmarked to give to the Boys and Girls Clubs and to the quarterbacks' charities, it put an all-but-impossible condition on the donation. How is this any different than if I said I'd give $1 million to charity if Barry Bonds hits 90 home runs by the end of this season?

"This is just a fun program for the Reebok quarterbacks," she said. "We give tons of money to charities every year. You can't single this one thing out. I don't know if you're familiar with the Reebok Human Rights Award. We have a number of programs where we flat out give money."

And that's a good point. I'm not saying Reebok's a bad corporate citizen that always ties giving to conditions, impossible or otherwise. I'm just, as Pelkey said, singling out this one program, and I don't agree that I can't do that.

Pelkey also disputed my assertion that the 207 touchdown passes was an impossible task for the six quarterbacks. "That's just one person's opinion," she said. "We worked out this program with the NFL, and they're behind it."

It was one person's opinion on that phone call, it's true. But sometimes, one person's opinion is right.

Next Page: Why these six quarterbacks are not going to throw 207 touchdown passes

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