After a long delay, Benderman was asked to step into Coston's office. By now, it was already past 5 p.m., and almost everybody else in the building had gone home. Benderman's company was nearing the time to assemble in a gymnasium to get manifests: envelopes with I.D. cards, passports and orders. After several more formations, the soldiers would spend a last five or 10 minutes with family members before walking out the doors to the plane.

It was Benderman's last chance to follow orders. Instead, he requested a general court-martial. "I refuse to deploy to Iraq," he told his commander. Coston tried to convince Benderman he was making a big mistake. According to Benderman, Coston told him that he would deploy him without a weapon to Kuwait -- a nod to Benderman's stated objection to war. However, Benderman also said Coston told him that he would then be deployed with his unit to Iraq, although he would not have to serve in a combat capacity there. Coston said that he would try to see if Benderman's C.O. application could be considered while he was deployed. But Benderman did not feel he could compromise: If he truly opposed war, he couldn't participate in it just long enough for the military to consider his C.O. application. Coston filled out a statement attesting to Benderman's refusal to be deployed. Benderman's wife signed it as a witness. Coston gave Benderman one more chance. He said he'd rip up the sworn statement and let Benderman ship out with his unit. Benderman stood his ground.

"I looked and thought about it and said that if I'm true to my beliefs, then my actions have to follow," Benderman said this week. "I can't just speak words and not follow through."

Benderman fully expected to be carted out of Coston's office in handcuffs. But, perhaps because of the publicity he had received and the letter from McKinney, nothing happened -- no MPs, no jail cell. He and Monica simply left and made the short drive to their off-base home in Hinesville.

On Monday, the deputy division chaplain sent Benderman an e-mail. "It is unfortunate you have chosen the course of action you have taken," he wrote. "You should have had the moral fortitude to deploy with us and see me here in Kuwait to begin your CO application." The chaplain scolded Benderman for giving him such short notice and for giving a reporter his e-mail address. "You should be ashamed of the way you have conducted yourself. I certainly am ashamed of you."

Kent, the 3rd Infantry Division's spokesperson, said the division has not yet begun court-martial proceedings against Benderman. The sergeant is now officially assigned to what's known as rear detachment, which consists of soldiers who are non-deployable and who perform support duty at Fort Stewart. For Benderman, rear detachment duty at Fort Stewart was acceptable but noncombat duty in Iraq crossed a line.

According to Kent, there are two separate matters before the Army: Did Benderman violate the Uniform Code of Military Justice by disobeying a direct order? And, should the Army grant Benderman conscientious objector status? Even though Benderman violated a direct order, his C.O. application is still going to be considered.

If the case of Staff Sgt. Camilo Mejia is any indication, Benderman could be facing stiff punishment. Mejia, a member of the Florida National Guard, refused to be deployed to Iraq. He was sentenced to a year in prison for desertion, pending his C.O. application.

According to Kent, "In a deployment situation a soldier who misses movement (troop deployment) is automatically classified as a deserter, which is a punishable offense. It's still up to the chain of command as to how they are going to handle the case." In other words, the military could take immediate action against the soldier, or wait and give consideration to all the factors of a particular soldier's situation and reasons.

Benderman met with the assistant division chaplain Wednesday morning. He hopes to meet with a psychiatrist in the coming days.

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"Weekend America," produced by American Public Media, documented Sgt. Kevin Benderman's struggle over his decision by taping conversations with him each day during the week of Jan. 3-7. The segment broadcast on Saturday, Jan. 8. The story can be heard at Weekend America.

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