Your own political aspirations are no secret. But if you run for office again, how are you going to keep your show from becoming a liability?

Well, the quick answer is, if I run there won't be a show anymore. I'd stop the show a year and a half before the election.

But people are still going to hold it up and say, "Why the hell should a guy like this hold office?"

Absolutely, but it's not on the air every day. Every single day for a year and a half they'll see me on television talking about issues that affect their lives. I'll be talking about how we'll make their jobs more secure, how we'll have healthcare for everybody. In the end, people are going to vote the interests of their own families. They won't be voting to give me an Emmy.

But what about the issue of family values? Ohio is a socially conservative state. What's to stop people from looking at your show and saying, "Look, this guy's got no values"?

Well, I'm not a guest on the show, I'm the host of it. It's like saying to a newsman, "You covered the war, so you must be a war hawk."

I know you've acknowledged the silliness of the show -- its place on the entertainment spectrum. But in all fairness, you can't separate yourself from the circus. You're the ringmaster who is having the people on.

Well, here are the values I offer: Every American ought to have the best healthcare that we can deliver, regardless of income. Every American ought to have a job so that they can take care of their families. A top priority should be education, so that [people in] the middle class [have] the opportunity to fulfill their dreams. I'll stack those values up against anything -- that's why we elect someone to office. I'm not trying to be your preacher, your rabbi, your minister. If I run, it's to fix the state so people can protect and provide for their families, and offer their kids a better life than they had.

Do you see national office in your future?

I have no interest in a political career. If I run it's because I have an idea of what we can do in Ohio to fix the state; that's my only interest. Life is a lot more pleasant without being in the middle of all this [at the convention]. I really think that if this is something I have a talent or ability to do, I ought to do it before I die. I'll do it, I'll go away, but the state will be fixed -- that's my goal.

If you had Bush on your TV show, what would the theme be?

[Smiles, thinking it over.]

Well, first I'd bring out Saddam Hussein. Then I'd bring out George. No, wait, I gotta think about this ...

Would there be midget prostitutes on the stage?

[Laughs] No, no, we gotta keep it clean ... OK, if it's after the election, how about this: "Daddy, can you get me a job?"

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