Linkletter: "If, if, if you're with a guy who suggests you have three more drinks than you should have, you're just going to get sicker. But if you're with a guy who you're already high and he suggests you try, this instead of this, you can go much further."

According to the Linkletter Vomit Theory, alcohol abusers eventually throw up when they've had too much to drink, thus saving them from further harm, while druggers turn to the needle when pot isn't getting them high enough. Linkletter seems unaware that quite a few people who have had too much to drink don't vomit; they order another drink. And folks who smoke too much pot usually don't turn to heroin; most of them fall asleep on the couch with the TV on.

But no matter. In the first minutes of the meeting, Nixon assumes the role of attentive pupil, eager to learn about the drug underworld from an expert. Linkletter has clearly done just enough research on marijuana to give Nixon the inside dope:

Linkletter: "Now, let me tell you one thing about marijuana you should know, that the word marijuana should never be used until you say, what kind of marijuana."

Nixon: "Oh."

Linkletter: "There is every grade. Now they say legalize marijuana or it isn't bad. What marijuana isn't bad? The mild stuff we grow in Wisconsin, or the stuff from Morocco? The twigs and the leaves, or the resin? The kind of person who uses it, is he psychologically sound or unsound? All these things make a difference. So you can never say marijuana, you've got to say, marijuana Acapulco, or marijuana from Mexico, or marijuana from Illinois."

Yep, one toke of that marijuana from Illinois and your drugger friend will be begging you not to jump out the window. Nixon shows little interest in getting into a stoner discussion about killer marijuana Acapulco bursting with twigs, leaves, and resin. Instead, he characteristically projects a perceived social ill -- drug abuse -- onto his political opponents.

Nixon: "These, uh, more radical demonstrators that were here the last, oh, two weeks ago. They're all on drugs. Oh yeah, horrible, it's just a -- when I say all, virtually all. And uh, uh, just raising hell, and, uh ..."

Linkletter: "That's right. And of course one of the reasons you can beat them is that so many of them are on drugs. The police are organized and did a great job ..."

Nixon: "Yeah, I got a hold of (Attorney General John) Mitchell on, uh, Saturday night, I said, bust them. And don't hurt anybody, I said don't hurt anybody, I don't want anything like Chicago, but I says, arrest the whole damn lot, if they don't clear the streets. And they arrested them, and the police chief did a hell of a job."

Despite the strong talk, Nixon continues to be nagged by an inner conflict: how can he rationalize condemning marijuana when he freely abuses alcohol? Nixon again steers Linkletter to comparing the two drugs, leading to this exchange:

Linkletter: "Another big difference between marijuana and alcohol is that when people smoke marijuana, they smoke it to get high. In every case, when most people drink, they drink to be sociable. You don't see people --"

Nixon: "That's right, that's right."

Linkletter: "They sit down with a marijuana cigarette to get high --"

Nixon: "A person does not drink to get drunk."

Linkletter: "That's right."

Nixon: "A person drinks to have fun."

Linkletter: "I'd say smoke marijuana, you smoke marijuana to get high."

Nixon: "Smoke marijuana, er, uh, you want to get a charge of some sort, and float, and this, that and the other thing."

So according to Nixon, people drink alcohol not to get drunk, but to be sociable and have fun. By contrast, druggers smoke marijuana to get a charge and float and this, that and the other thing. Well, that explains it. A final exchange between Nixon and Linkletter takes the big picture view:

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