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Monday, Nov 9, 2009
The Juicy Couture tracksuit is the height of haute in L.A., a uniform for starlet and wealthy wannabe alike.
Jan 14, 2003 | On a recent episode of "MTV Cribs," Hugh Hefner and one of his numerous bottle-blond live-in girlfriends (Hef: "I'm in my platinum period ... like Picasso's blue period") walked the cameras through the Playboy Mansion's closets. Hef's boasted a climate-controlled glass chamber just for his smoking-jacket collection. This Playmate's matching cabinet, however, was filled entirely with pink velour Juicy Couture tracksuits. In fact, she wore one -- paired with a sequined bra -- as she conducted her tour; it was her uniform for clubbing, lounging, partying, working out.
The Juicy Couture tracksuit materialized in Los Angeles at some point early last year; by the fall, it was de rigueur attire for every trendy starlet, socialite, stripper, waitress and fashionista wannabe in town. Those with deep pockets (or, in the case of Hef's girlfriend, proximity to deep pockets) don't own just one: Tori Spelling reportedly has one in every color. Nelly Furtado and Jennifer Lopez have worn them in music videos; Lopez loves hers so much that her J.Lo line knocked them off, as did Banana Republic and Old Navy.
The item is, for all intents and purposes, a sweat suit, unless the intent and purpose is to wear it in Los Angeles. Here the best-dressed wear warm-weather casual, appearing as if fresh from a sunny afternoon at the beach. But there are rules: The flip-flops should be Stuart Weitzman ($200), the slouchy patchwork shoulder bag made by Hogan ($795), and the kicky khaki military jacket thrown over the shoulder designed by Marc Jacobs ($650). (Local fashion police also require hair highlights to get that natural sun-bleached look, routine pedicures for those exposed toes, and, of course, pricey skin peels to rid the visage of the acne from all that smog.) In other words, West Coast low maintenance was never so high maintenance, and the Juicy Couture tracksuit is a perfect example of how the comfy casual can go so very wrong under the influence of fashion consciousness.
Without pretense, accessories or certain custom enhancements, the Juicy tracksuit is a fantastic piece of clothing: A two-piece velour sweat suit set, with a zip-front hoodie and drawstring pants, it is soft and fuzzy, and it comes in a variety of colors. For the patriotic, it could also be construed as all-American. But appearances can be deceiving: This is not your typical sweat suit. No indeed. The Juicy line is cut for the body of a 14-year-old supermodel (or, say, Lara Flynn Boyle). The hood is cropped and cut snug, so that there's not much room to wear anything underneath except maybe a La Perla bra. As for the drawstring bottoms, they hang low on the hips, so low, in fact, that one can often tell whether the wearer of said bottoms has shaved her pubis and left her Cosabella thong at home. Expect to see approximately four inches of skin between bottom and top on the Juicy Couture gal, and be assured that she is not wearing a T-shirt underneath (there's no room). Those without jutting hipbones and concave bellies need not apply.
The item is also off-limits to those on a budget. A velour version of the tracksuit costs roughly $200, while the more coveted cashmere version goes for $400. Although this may seem cheap compared with the latest off-the-rack Prada, keep in mind that this is a sweat suit. For an additional fee, one can get it customized (as in, the boyfriend's name embroidered across the chest); this being L.A., the most popular option is to simply flaunt the label. Juicy tracks are often emblazoned with the word "Juicy" across the rear end, thereby enabling the wearer to be both a label whore and a cock tease at the same time.
