Mr. and Mrs. Pollack evidently believe, without much reflection, in the market theory of raising Elijah: Throw money at the problem in the hopes that someone else will do the dirty work for them.

At the risk of sounding like an ignoramus -- no, I don't have kids -- why are they sending a 2-year-old to an organized school? Getting underfoot at home is what toddlers do best, and there are few other children to bite.

But what strikes me most is what Neal Pollack leaves out: Neither he nor his wife take the time to ask their parents for memories of when they had toddlers under their own feet.

-- T.J. Cassidy

I'm glad you published Neal Pollack's article describing the difficulties for parents when kids are expelled from for-profit preschools. My son was also a biter. I was told I had to pick him up and take him home each time he bit another child. My kid was happy to spend the afternoon at home, but my boss was pretty upset -- and so was I. I needed to keep my job, especially since I am divorced and get little or no child support.

I called our pediatrician and got instructions from him on how to stop my son from biting. The doctor said to pull him off the other child immediately and give him a timeout. I gave these instructions to my son's teachers, explaining that it was medical advice.

Fortunately, the doctor's method worked and my son stopped biting other kids. He never got sent home again and didn't get expelled from preschool. But I know the worry.

-- Elizabeth Morse

I turned to Salon this morning in hopes of finding some sort of inspiration to get me through a day at the office. Instead, I was greeted by yet another article by a young but oh-so-witty parent bemoaning the fact that his offspring got kicked out of preschool for biting and sticking rocks up his nose. Mom is at wit's end because she has an art exhibit to put up and she doesn't want to spend so much time with her child. And dad doesn't know how he is going to manage to scribble more "humorous" essays about how hard it is to be a parent if he is forced to actually interact with his child during daylight hours.

When did Salon turn into a confessional for parents who can't handle their kids? For every article that sheds some light on what's going on in the world, there seem to be way too many on the challenges of finding the right nanny or the politics of the playground. I support Salon Premium because I believe in what Salon used to offer: smart, insightful, well-reasoned news and opinions. If I wanted so much baby stuff, I'd subscribe to Parents.

-- Roy DeLaMar

Let me get this straight. Neal's 2-year-old went on a month or longer binge of biting children every day and he's upset and shocked that his son was expelled? The child should have been expelled much earlier, to protect the other children from his mouth. Neal is lucky that he's not getting sued by another parent.

Attitudes like his are a major reason I got out of teaching. Parents "these days" (I'm 32, mind you) don't seem to have the patience or time to parent and discipline their own children but expect teachers to do the job for them. They don't say no to their child for anything, don't teach them respect for others, let alone for adults, and are shocked -- just shocked -- when their kids get in trouble in school.

What's especially maddening is that Neal and his wife are so upset that they have to spend the entire summer in "hell" with their 2-year-old! You mean parenting is hard, exhausting work, will change your life and your marriage forever, and make you question what the hell you were ever thinking? You're kidding. Yet they expect others to do it with more tact and patience than they've shown their own child, just because the others are getting paid for it.

Let me provide some perspective. When I graduated from college in 1995 with a teaching certificate, the only job I could find immediately was at a Montessori school and at another preschool. I was interviewed numerous times. I got hired at both ... for the excellent salary of $8 an hour, without benefits. Double that and add benefits, and I still don't think it would be enough. The numerous assistants and teachers that had contact with Neal's 2-year-old probably weren't making much more than that. They should be commended for putting up with him for as long as they did.

Mothers and fathers are always saying that parenthood is the hardest, least appreciated, least compensated job on earth. When they fail to do their job, teachers take that title easily.

-- Kim

Why did this couple have a child if neither wanted to care for him? Caring for a rambunctious 2-year-old is one of the most challenging jobs on earth, but with two able-bodied parents, can't they just trade off who takes care of him for a few hours each day so they can work? Does the child not nap at all?

Neal Pollack whines articulately, as does his wife, but the only person I feel for in this essay is their son. I hope they pay attention to him this summer so he doesn't need to bite to get their attention.

-- Jennifer Levitsky Kasoff

Since when did spending days with your kid over the summer become a death sentence? If you didn't want to spend time with your kid, why did you have him?

And now to the question of biting. Biting is not funny even in precocious 2-year- olds, and every parent has dealt with this. My recommendation is to react naturally. When the kid bites you, slap his butt. You are simply being honest with him. That hurt and I'm mad, so stop it. I'm not talking about a beating here -- just a slap, and only on the butt. I'm not a big fan of corporal punishment, but at some point we all need to deal with the real world -- even if we're smart, cute, funny 2-year-olds.

-- John Drew

I feel for Neal Pollack and the teachers who didn't know how to handle his son, but I was surprised that the preschool put up with Elijah's behavior for as long as they did.

If I had been Sophie's mom, after the second time she was bitten I would have spoken to the teacher and said that I expected them to provide a safe environment for my child. If anything had happened beyond that, I would have gone to the school and demanded that they make certain it wouldn't happen again. I would not have waited for the teachers to give up. I would have pulled Sophie from the school before I would have allowed her to be someone's chew toy. Where were the irate parents?

Yes, it would be great if no kids were expelled, but on the other hand, it would be great if no one bit anybody either. Why throw up your hands at the latter, but expect the former?

-- Tabatha

Elijah is your responsibility and it isn't the primary job of his daycare to make him a sensitive and cooperative child -- it is yours, working together with them. Is it unfair of the other parents to expect their children to be safe from a biter? I wouldn't want my child in a class with someone who attacks the other children constantly. Some children can be difficult, but you can't expect his daycare to be the sole answer to this problem. What did you expect, that you could have him and simply expect someone else to humanize him? Talk to his pediatrician, friends, and family and ultimately, if you have to, make that financial sacrifice to get some help.

-- Joanna

Neal Pollack wrote an incredibly honest account of the horribly difficult situation with his 2-year-old son, Elijah. The problem is that by being so honest, he only proved that both he and his wife were incredibly selfish and insensitive.

During no time in Mr. Pollack's article did he or his wife offer any concern or sympathy for the children their son physically harmed, sometimes to the point of drawing blood. While attempting to blame schools, teachers and "the system," their true feelings and concerns were exposed. Neither wanted "the job" they signed on for when they decided to procreate.

My heart bleeds for Elijah and the other children who come into contact with him. Neal Pollack recognizes that he himself had a difficult childhood, but for some bizarre reason, while seeing flashes of his childhood in Elijah, he does not act to see if Elijah is suffering from the same or different behavioral problems.

-- Sarah

OK, at the beginning of this article, I was on your side. It all rings a bell -- the crappy healthcare and the inadequate childcare. But by the end, the only sympathetic character in the whole article was Sophie. She is only 2 years old and should not have to worry about going to school and being bitten by your son. But when you really lost me was when you began to go on and on about what a tragedy it would be to have your own son at home with you for the summer. I'm a single mother (for five years) with two children in college and a 13- and a 14-year-old at home. I have a real job (had, just got fired) with real benefits and could never have afforded a Montessori school. I cannot afford a $25-a-week tutor for my daughter.

Still, when my kids were little (and I was married) I did stay home with them. We went to the park, we went to the dollar theater, we went to the library. I had coffee with my friends. It's not a horrible life. You have kids, you make sacrifices. You work at jobs you don't like so maybe you can afford a hobby and so that you can have health benefits. You spend time with your children even when you can't stand the sound of their voices anymore.

Do you think that you really voiced concerns of most middle- or working-class parents? I can tell you right now that you did not. You should watch "Supernanny" and get in the habit of looking into your child's eyes and speaking in a serious and stern manner in order to get your point across rather than trying to be funny. "You don't bite a girl unless she asks you to" is a stupid thing to say to a 2-year-old, especially when said 2-year-old has a problem with biting.

-- Carrie

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