When I read Ayelet Waldman's first Salon column, I wondered about the depth of her selfishness. Having read her second -- I'll not be reading her third -- I wonder no more. Her self-absorption is bottomless. It is entire; it is complete. It encompasses even her children's gender identities, which Waldman boils down until they are distilled into questions that really matter to her: Will she have a shopping buddy? Will her personal grooming choices be endorsed, or criticized? Her children's happiness is secondary to her self-obsession (at least you have to hope it rates that high) and their privacy is nothing next to her desire to share her obsession with us.

With editorial space at a premium, I wonder just what it is Salon thinks Waldman brings to the table. A weekly primer in narcissism we can do without.

-- Robert Kuntz

It is beyond me why Ms. Waldman's musings are published by a high-quality magazine like Salon. The New York Times seems more and more attuned to this sort of lifestyle nonsense, so I was not at all surprised to find her self-centered scribblings in the Style section Sunday. Now she wants her son to be gay so that she can be assured of his attention. What foolishness.

Those of us with gay children could tell her the real facts of life. It's really hard being gay in most areas of this country. It is not about joking around and shopping with your mom, or amusing her with drag queen outfits. As a matter of fact, it is not about you at all, Mom! You can be the most tolerant parent in the universe, with many gay and lesbian friends, and still have a child who suffers terribly in this life because of his sexual nature.

So please spare me the silly talk from this ignorant woman.

-- Ann Henry

Stop the presses! Ayelet Waldman has admitted that she, like every other human being on the planet, harbors some stereotypes. Also, she hopes her son is gay.

This might be the most self-absorbed, not to mention boring, column I've ever read.

-- Daniel Jones

Where to begin with this article? Ms. Waldman hopes her 7-year-old child is gay. Well, I guess we should all aspire to something in this life. Being the parent of gay children is nothing to be particularly ashamed of -- however, is it really something to which we should aspire?

I understand parents who have gay children accepting and loving them, but wanting such a life for them strikes me as more than a little odd. I'm not at all sure that 7-year-old children should have any real concept of sexuality in the first place, and if this thought places me outside the mainstream of Salon readers, I can certainly live with that. Maybe it's the Neanderthal, right-wing side of me that believes children should be allowed to get out of second grade without being subjected to the intricacies of the gay marriage debate, but then again, maybe it's just common sense.

People can raise their children any way they choose, so long as it is consistent with local child welfare standards. People can think anything they want. Indeed, people can write about any thought that may pass through their heads, with very few, limited exceptions (threats against the president's life, etc.). But occasionally, people should ask themselves: Is this a good idea? In the case of the article at issue, my response is a resounding "no." I doubt I'm alone in this response.

One thing seems certain: Ms. Waldman is much more likely to get her wish, to have a gay son, than most parents who simply let their children grow up without such notions permeating their lives.

-- Michael Martin

Ayelet Waldman tells her friends, and us, that she hopes her son grows up to be gay. In doing so, she is setting her son up for pain. She can't help what she hopes for, but if she goes around telling people, the message is likely to get back to him. He needs to find out who he is without any pressure from her, but knowing what his mother wants him to be will pressure him. So many homosexuals suffer because they want to be what will please their parents -- we don't need heterosexuals suffering too.

Furthermore, this article invades his privacy. Does the world need to know that he would like to grow up to be gay? Isn't that his personal business? And if he is already embarrassed by certain things, is it really a good idea to tell the whole Internet about them?

-- Greg Littmann

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