With regard to the government's message that drugs do irreparable damage to the brain of a person below the age of 17 ... wasn't that when most of us were doing most of our drugs? Many of the same people who are now doctors and lawyers and electricians were smoking grass in the school bathroom between periods in seventh grade.

No, this is not the reason to be a hypocrite. The reason to be a hypocrite is to give your child something reasonable to rebel against -- to set the bar sufficiently low so that a simple act of rebellion doesn't consist of running heroin from Afghanistan or joining the Republican Party. When they are 25, you and the kids can compare war stories. Until then, you can keep mum -- as it is best not to give the kids the lurid details too early, lest they make the wrong sense of it.

-- Marya DeBlasi

My son has been raised in an academic household, surrounded by doctors and physicists, musicians, and athletes since infancy. We all use drugs. Some of us more than others, but nonetheless, we grow them, prescribe them, compound them, invent them, and frequently enjoy them in all their illicit glory.

He's seen firsthand what brains on drugs are like and, as a result, is nearly 20 years old, hip, funny, and still untouched by their awesome allure.

Also, I've told him in horrifying detail of my experiences with substances legal and otherwise ... not to scare him, but to give him material. I've explained that coke is like a whole lot of Red Bull, only more expensive and snot-ridden. That pot is for glaucoma and theoretical physicists and plays havoc with one's self-discipline (i.e., homework schedule while you're in college). That heroin is similar to the oxycodone Mummy takes for her back, which makes her antisocial and irritable when approached from behind ... not the best for dating.

I've told him that he was conceived on X ... without the daddy's knowledge or permission ... so watch it.

About my rather checkered history with drugs and other vices, I've made no excuses and sought no quarter, and as a result my kid and I are pretty honest with each other. Last night on the patio, we shared a clean, buttery Chardonnay with grilled wild Chinook salmon and celebrated a breakthrough in my research. As the mountains burnished, I reached to pour him a second glass. "No thanks, Mom," he told me. "It's been a good day. You be the designated drunk."

Sometimes we lead best by bad example.

-- A. Hansen

Back in 1967-70, pot was a very different substance than it was the last time I smoked it, circa 1985.

In the '60s two joints would get me very high. By the mid-'80s, two tokes were enough to get me much, much higher, with major-league paranoia thrown in.

You couldn't pay me enough money to put a "good" drug in my system anymore, and I plan to tell my kid the truth, that recreational illicit drugs today are far stronger than when I used them, and she should avoid them completely.

-- Richard Einhorn

Another conversation that may be tough is explaining to a child, or anyone else, how you can do drugs and happily and docilely live in a country where people (mostly minority group members) are so often arrested and have their lives ruined for the same behavior. Is there any other class of crimes where "nice" people perpetrate them, feel fine about it, and casually watch thousands of other like offenders go to jail? Maybe we only want the evil "dealers" or even only "kingpins" to go away, but ask yourself this: Where would your good times come from if it weren't for dealers and even kingpins? Don't you rely on these entrepreneurial and industrious people when you buy drugs for your own use?

So much of drug enforcement seems to be justified by the need to "protect the children." This article merely raises a more arch example of the oblivious hypocrisy that the existence of children requires from all of us. Parents should simply say the fact that drug use can lead to going to jail is reason enough to stay clear of drugs, even if they are otherwise harmless fun. But then you may have to explain why people are treated so harshly for doing something so innocuous.

-- Neil P. McDevitt

My wife is pregnant with our first child, due this November, and I already know this: After providing food, shelter and affection, my primary duty as a parent is to remain an interesting person. To this end, I agree with Larry Smith that parents who drop all of their personal interests as soon as their children arrive do a disservice to their kids. But I also know that personal time shrinks to a minimum when kids are in the picture. Drugs have never been regular entertainment for anyone without serious time to kill: the incarcerated, the unemployed, and chronically boring people. As an aspiring father, I have no intention of being any of these things. So when the time comes, I'll spend that precious free time making root beer, playing the marimba, learning French. I have no moral qualms with Mr. Smith's drug use, but I can't help but think he'd make an incredibly dull parent.

-- Patrick North

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