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Friday, Jul 10, 2009
Readers weigh in on how to talk to your kids about drugs even if you still do them. Plus: Hooray for Dan Savage!
Jul 20, 2004 | [Read "Do you puff, Daddy?" by Larry Smith.]
After finishing this piece, I was surprised that Larry Smith made no mention of the infamous DARE program, the drug war's method of turning kids into informants against their parents.
Since the '80s, police departments have been using DARE -- a program structured around visits by police officers to elementary and middle school classrooms to promote drug awareness -- as a means of getting Junior to rat Dad out to the Man. The cops show kids drugs and drug paraphernalia -- often arranged in colorful, kid-friendly display cases -- and then start asking, 'Have you ever seen anything like this before? Where? Does your mommy or daddy have a pipe like this?' and so on. DARE is one of the most ruthless and insidious means police have of invading privacy and has resulted in the arrest and incarceration of countless otherwise lawful, nonviolent drug users. Ironically, some statistics suggest that DARE has contributed to an increase in drugs use among minors by planting seeds of curiosity about drugs in the minds of kids who would otherwise still be playing with Legos and dolls.
Even those who are of a mind that no responsible parent would continue to use any form of illegal drugs should feel serious concern about the psychological consequences of using children to persecute their own parents.
-- Ed Tarkington
While I sympathize with all the parents and prospective parents who want to lie to their children about drug use, I find it slightly chilling to read the old "Do as I say, not as I do" adage being repackaged as a politically correct move. Why not be honest? When is lying to your children a good idea? My own personal philosophy is tell the truth -- you don't have to offer details. I don't give them graphic descriptions of my sex life, so why give graphic details about the trips I took or the coke I snorted? But I do try to give straight answers to specific questions -- even the uncomfortable ones. I may speak in generalities, instead of specifics, if it hits too close to the line. But if pressed, I give them the straight-up about my personal experiences with drugs.
My kids are 24, 19 and 16. All have experimented with drugs to some extent -- one has had a problem, which he sought counseling for -- and all of them are living productive lives as am I, a pot smoker for the past 30 years.
-- Lisa Post
I have (had) seven brothers and sisters; two of my sisters got involved with illegal drugs as teenagers. Both displayed poor judgment when it came to making life choices (no education, teenage parenthood, drugged-out abusive men), and the following are the results:
Jeannette (divorced after second hospital stay due to beatings, ex-husband dead from heroin overdose, 18-year relationship with active alcoholic, subsidized her disability income with drug sales to minors), is now dead from pneumonia at 39, and her youngest daughter (19) is a heroin addict.
Melanie, divorced, remarried to a pothead who tried to kill her during a cocaine/mixed-medication mess before attempting suicide unsuccessfully, and eldest two stepdaughters actively fighting addiction.
Between the hospital visits, the funerals, the financial problems resulting from their idiot decisions, and the misery of their children, I guess I keep missing out on all the "fun" of the illegal drug use.
-- Ida Briggs
