How obnoxious of so many Salon readers to judge Anne's parenting capabilities! A child of 14 is still young enough to be subject to the parent's scheduling, and church is a completely viable activity that in many ways provides a structure and sense for childhood that is impossible to find elsewhere. I recommend they read "Traveling Mercies," in which Lamott describes her church as one I'd join in a heartbeat if I lived in the Bay Area. Should a parent not require a child to eat? To sleep? To try to prevent them from watching things on television that the parent finds objectionable? When did a 14-year-old become an adult? When living at home, a kid should do what their parents want them to do, and expecting them to go to church/synagogue/mosque is completely reasonable. If a child rejects faith as an adult, fine. But, if you pay attention to Lamott's own spiritual journey as described in "Mercies" and all of her columns, she is not a part of a crazy brainwashing!

Anne too rejected faith, and Jesus came and knocked on her door when she was most rejected, most downtrodden, and most needed faith. Exactly as He should. Lamott's Jesus is gentle, understanding, firm, forgiving, has high expectations, but is willing to wash away sin when we don't meet them. That is what Jesus is supposed to be -- a friend. I doubt seriously that Salon readers would have been so incensed if Lamott took Sam to a mosque or a temple -- why all the hostility toward Christianity? An individual's woundedness does not negate the inherent value that religion can, and does have, for the vast majority of the human race. And as to the criticism that Lamott uses Sam as subject matter, I don't think that she's "abusing" her child by writing about the experience of rearing him, something that so many readers and parents can surely identify with. Come on, Salon readers -- give Anne a break.

-- Guli Fager

Get off Anne's back! As kids get older, the rules change or, in the case of Anne and her son, are negotiated to accommodate new needs or responsibilities. Her every-other-week church rule sounds like a fair compromise to me.

Anne, keep the wise, wild and courageous columns coming. You rock.

-- Laura Raphael

I could not sit this one out. I disagree with those who think Ms. Lamott is doing her son a disservice by making him go to church. Children want and deserve to know right from wrong, structure over chaos.

Church is one of those places where parents and children can seek counsel in all matters. I was raised in the church. I believe in God and I believe that everything we need to achieve and succeed is within us. Going to church, even when I did not want to (truthfully how many kids want to wake up early on a weekend to do anything), gave me that foundation of belief. I think it is fine if parents can impart that spirituality without the institution. But most cannot.

-- Hope Sampson

I found Anne's article about Sam and church quite moving, and I'm horrified by the negative responses she received.

Perhaps the most moronic idea concocted by adults is that children can find spiritual guidance and communities of caring people on their own. Somehow, children are supposed to learn how to express themselves, how to find people who will accept them unconditionally, and how to communicate, all on their own. How do most kids try to find authentic relationships: drugs, booze, sex, Internet chat rooms, instant messaging... Oh, but I forgot, that's where most adults are looking for "love" as well.

-- Catherine

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