Kings and queens of the prom

Tales of queer love from high school's Big Night.

By David Boyer

Jun 15, 2004 |

The Valedictorian
Arthur Larsen
Harvey Milk High School (the country's only public school for LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] students)
New York, N.Y.
Class of 2003

I think my story is a little unique from the kids at Harvey: before I went there, I was still attending school regularly and my academics were a little bit stronger. And a lot of my classmates had just given up on school before they went to Harvey.

I remember my first day there. That was a scary moment, because I came from this really academic school. And then I got there and it's a bunch of trannies vogueing. And I'd never met a tranny before; I didn't know what that was. So that was a culture shock. I wanted out right away; I begged to be kicked out. And they wouldn't let me. They knew it was an adjustment and they knew I would do really well there. And they were absolutely right.

Harvey is definitely different than other schools, because individuality is encouraged to no end; that's a big part of being there. There's a lot of acceptance. But in many ways, it's not so different from other high schools: there's pettiness, there's gossip, there's all of that. There's a lot of harshness, because when you receive nothing but hate all of your life, you just sort of know to give that back.

There were also cliques, but they were very sexuality-aware. The transgendered girls hung out with the other transgendered girls who were in the drag ball scene; the pretty, gay, white club boys hung out together; the quieter, white lesbians hung out together. Then there was a group of us who were mixed and a little more mingled.

My best friend from Harvey was this girl Laura, she's actually a straight girl -- like the only one there -- and this kid Paul. And they were both a little more with me academically. And they had similar interests, you know, just music and the arts. I missed the friends that I had from my old school, but I think that's with any transition. And they were really great about my whole switcherooni. They came to volunteer at Harvey and they joined the after-school program. They even came to my prom!

I just think prom was this awe-inspiring moment: seeing all of these same-sex couples dancing together and feeling that was normative. You know, it didn't seem forced or out of the ordinary in that situation. It just sends this chill, this chill of happiness through you.

I actually went to two proms. Junior year, I wound up taking my best friend and her girlfriend. And then senior year I took Paul, because he had graduated already and so he wanted to come back. Since I wasn't dating anyone, going with my best friend seemed like the next best thing. It was a fun night and, you know, it was my senior year, so it was just good to be with friends and be sociable.

In terms of dress, they always try to encourage more of an elegant, traditional prom. But this is Harvey Milk, so people do their own thing; people did come in leather pants, and people did come in capes. The first year, I had this outfit made -- this amazing gold, black and copper outfit. Custom made. With a top hat. It was amazing. The second year, I dressed down a little bit with sort of a club outfit.

Graduation was like two or three days after prom. It meant a lot to me to be the valedictorian; it sort of affirmed all the work I put into going there and being there. It was nerve-wracking, but I really loved my speech. I was nervous because I knew it wasn't your typical valedictory speech. I could have given a speech about "how lucky we are" and "go forth" and "yeah!" Instead, I talked about the divisions and the need for unity. We're cast in these roles of, you know, the gays hate the dykes, the this hates the that. And it's like, why are we doing that? The goal is unified, why can't the actions be? It was received really well; I got a standing ovation.

And my father was there and my stepmother, and they were really proud of it. They were tearful actually. This was sort of new for them -- to be in this room with all of these queer-identified people.

If I hadn't gone to Harvey Milk, I think I would have finished high school. Grudgingly. But I'd probably be in some community college somewhere just barely getting through classes. And it's shaped what I want to do with my life: I've decided, as a result of going there, that this is a community I want to be a part of; this is the community I want to work in.

Arthur is now at SUNY Purchase double-majoring in sociology and women's studies.

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