Site Presented By
Wednesday, Nov 25, 2009
Randy Ayn Randian? Amorous astral-plane dweller? Whatever your passion, there's a specialty online dating site for you.
Feb 13, 2004 | I had enough trouble finding a dog person. Catherine Norman was holding out for a horse person. "I had played around on Match.com and Matchmaker.com, always looking for horsemen," says Norman, 57, a retired nurse in Austin, Texas, with three equine buddies in the backyard. "I was trying to find someone who shared my passion, but no one in my area mentioned horses as a significant part of his life."
Through a friend's suggestion, Norman found EquestrianSingles.com -- and, eventually, Jerry Lee, who trains horses for a living and owns 11 himself. "Only a horsewoman will tolerate the amount of time and money I spend on my horses," read his profile. Norman hardly tolerates it -- she embraces it. "I love learning from him and helping with the workload," she says. "We have a rich sharing of work and play and knowledge -- in addition to very compatible personalities and nonhorse values."
Norman is just one of the thousands of discriminating online daters who are looking for love in smaller places, with more selective tools. According to Internet tracking firm comScore Networks, online personals now represent the highest-revenue category of paid content on the Internet, beating out, yes, even porn. Megasites such as Match.com and Yahoo! Personals, with their combined 9 million users, have cornered the superstore online dating market. But now a mini-industry of, well, corner markets, is starting to thrive. In an October 2003 survey by Jupiter Research, in fact, nearly a third of online singles said they prefer so-called niche dating sites. No longer content to "check all that apply" and merely hope that like-minded people respond to their profiles, singles are seeking out -- and finding -- dating sites that help narrow the field for them.
More and more sites now employ some sort of virtual velvet rope to screen out undesirables; others focus around hobbies, interests, tastes and lifestyles -- and not just dirty ones. These niche sites are more eclectic still than personals services devoted to specific ethnicities, religions, basic sexual preferences, or readers of the same online magazine. Looking for fellow bikers? Why they're right here. For doctors? Armchair astrologists? Raw foodies? Geeks? Fans of "Buffy," "Smallville," "Lord of the Rings," "Star Trek"? Just a click away. People with pets can go to KissyKat.com, which is for single animal lovers willing to use a site called KissyKat.com. There's also -- my personal favorite -- the Ayn Rand Online Dating Service (part of the Rand-admirer community "the Atlasphere"), whose members, fans of Rand-flavor reason and rationality (and perhaps Objectivism), would totally win a rumble against the "metaphysically minded people" searching for their "twinflames" at Astral Hearts Metaphysical Personals.
This trend makes sense in terms of both business and, well, pleasure. "The large general space is locked up, so niche sites are the places where a lot of [online dating businesses] are looking for growth," says Nate Elliott, an associate analyst at Jupiter. (Trend watchers and investors do have an eye on "social networking" sites such as Friendster, Tribe and Tickle, which allow users to interact with their friends' friends -- and so on, and so on -- over interests platonic and professional as well as more prurient. Still, while we know folks will shell out for a shot at a soul mate, when it comes to bonding and schmoozing, the jury's still out. "Whether people will pay for networking services as a stand-alone offering, we're still not sure," says Dan Hess, senior vice president of comScore Networks.)
Many of the smaller niche dating sites are actually still free, but that's not the only draw. Everyone's always telling singles to meet people through their "hobbies," which sounds reasonable, but do you know how many people I met through snowboarding who were both single and didn't need me to buy beer for their friends? (Let's just say way, way fewer than the number of people I've met whose hobby is stating the obvious to single people.) Likewise, people of faith -- but not the organized kind -- can't just "meet through church" the old-fashioned way; folks for whom "The Fountainhead" represents a way of life have -- according to Atlasphere founder Joshua Zader -- only one national conference, or tiny local groups, where they can bond over Ayn face to face. Sure, one could dig around online -- but searching a giant dating site for a specifically kindred spirit (within a digit or two of your ZIP code) can be like looking for a needlepoint enthusiast in a haystack.
That, of course, is where sites like EquestrianSingles.com come in. But they provide even more than a shortcut to an "activity partner." For some it's a matter of stocking the pond with fundamental compatibility. "I've come to the inevitable conclusion that for me unless there's a solid philosophical connection, a relationship doesn't hold much interest for me. I don't think this is a dogmatic position, but really quite practical," says Samatha, 41, who defected to Ayn Rand Singles from the larger sites. Similarly, users of ConcernedSingles, which brings progressives together (also see GreenSingles, "for singles in the environmental, vegetarian, and animal rights community"), won't risk winding up at Starbucks with a suitor saying (to paraphrase my friend Alex's worst nightmare), "That David Brooks has the right idea." There's also the hip, smartassily political LoveinWar.com personals ("for people who take their politics seriously, but don't take themselves too seriously"), which may appeal especially to those who "dated Dean, slept with Kerry."
