What it means to be old

Virginia and John Magrath

"Though I didn't see him fall, I heard it and it was a terrible sound," says Virginia Magrath about her husband, John's, recent accident. "He fell backwards against the bathtub and hit the back of his head. That was the worst night in my life."

A blood clot formed in John's brain and aggressive surgery did nothing to alleviate the problem. Virginia sat vigil by John's side night and day in the hospital for three weeks. She dealt with doctors and nurses around the clock and faced a lot of frustration trying to advocate for her husband. "Doctors ignore you entirely if you're old and there's somebody younger around. Like they would talk to my daughters, and they wouldn't look at me, they wouldn't direct anything they said to me. And I have said, on more than one occasion, 'I am his wife. Talk to me.' And they do, then."

Falls are the fifth leading cause of death for older adults, and after a grueling three weeks it became apparent that John would not get better. "John was blind and he had dementia. He had nothing to live for, no good life ahead of him," explains Virginia. "It seemed that was the point when we should let nature take its course."

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