Madonna the conformist

The characters are completely undifferentiated. Binah is a saint with no discernible personality beyond beauty and excellence at household chores. Frankly, this ideal of girlhood went out with the 1950s, and to see Madonna of all people endorsing it is disturbing. I wanted Binah to kvetch at her single father while she scrubs the floor and does the laundry; to be angry at the mean, popular Roses; to have a collection of bugs or an interest in vampire movies -- anything that suggests a mind in rebellion against the pure, blond angel she appears to be. The Roses learn Binah isn't a snob. But they don't actually learn who she is -- because she isn't anything. She never speaks, except to say "Okay, Papa." She's the feminine mystique.

I do not want my daughter to read this book.

I don't want her reading "Mr. Peabody's Apples," either -- which is so overtly moralizing there is no fun whatsoever to be had. Once again, children are depicted as passive receptors of adult wisdom, but here, the misguided semi-protagonist ends up in a guilty, never-to-be-redeemed limbo for his relatively innocent crime.

Mr. Peabody is a schoolteacher and baseball coach. One day, a boy named Tommy Tittlebottom sees Peabody apparently steal an apple from the local grocer. He tells his friends. Soon the whole town believes their beloved teacher is a thief. As soon as he hears about it, Peabody proves his innocence. The grocer confirms that Peabody pays in advance each week for an apple a day. Tommy apologizes to Mr. Peabody and asks how he can make amends. But instead of telling Tommy it's OK and forgiving him, Peabody has him slice open a pillow and let the feathers blow across a field. He then tells Tommy to pick them up, which is impossible. "It would be just as impossible to undo the damage that you have done by spreading the rumor that I am a thief," Peabody says. "Each feather represents a person in Happville."

To my mind, this is nearly as horrible a message as the idea that feminine virtue is a slim, silent, domestic saint. True, people should consider the incredible power of their words. But Peabody will likely redeem his reputation very quickly, since the grocer is happy to tell everyone in town that he buys the apples in advance. Poor Tommy, a gossip who nonetheless believed he was exposing a thief, and who apologized and offered to make reparations, has probably been scarred for life by being told it is impossible ever to do adequate penance for his mistake. He's done irreparable damage, the book tells us, and Mr. Peabody is a good man for making sure this little boy knows it.

Why is anyone buying these books? Besides slavish celebrity worship and a misguided sense of the books' morals, I can think of two other reasons. First, they look fantastic. In "Roses," illustrator Jeffrey Fulvimari has created a world of hyper-stylish childishness that may be politically questionable but which is undeniably fun, and Loren Long's muscular, rubbery paintings have beautiful plays of light and a still, detailed beauty in "Peabody."

Second, they are picture books with a significant amount of text, geared to older readers. Madonna's books are short enough to be bedtime stories, and sophisticated enough not to embarrass a 10-year-old. Unlike most chapter books and early readers, they are pretty objects; the first book even comes encased in a special little book sleeve. Once children begin reading on their own, they generally don't have access to those kinds of full-color pictures. Even more rarely do they get them in a book about everyday social interactions, since most longer, text-heavy picture books tend to be fairy tales or fantasy. As such, I think "The English Roses" -- and to a lesser extent, "Mr. Peabody's Apples" -- may be filling a gap left by the publishing industry. We don't have older-child picture books, and maybe we should.

It's just too bad that as one of the most powerful entertainers in the world reaches for a younger market, Madonna's not telling readers to question authority or listen to their own hearts. She's telling them to listen to their misguided elders, and she's doing it badly to boot.

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