"I know that writing the blog made him more aware of what was going on," said Hyde Owen, "but I don't know if he kept the blog because he was already more invested and interested in the wedding or whether the blog made him more interested and invested."

"To my groomsmen, I actually became a kind of Groomzilla," Owen said, remembering his agitation with his attendants when they had not all sent him their measurements on time.

Getting tetchy about suit fittings is one thing. Copping to one's own metrosexuality on a Web site is another. American pop cultural iconography has so permanently linked the notion of wedding kvetching to the image of a Xanax-popping bride that grooms' reasonable complaints and concerns come off as slightly ... well ... maybe just a bit emasculating.

J.J. Sutherland -- he of the cool fall colors and coffee bean bouquets -- went so far as to drop a mention of the fabled "women's sports pages," the weekly wedding announcements in the New York Times Sunday Fashion and Style section. "No one really good to hate this week," wrote Sutherland of one particular crop of blissful marrieds. Later he wrote of the New York Observer's Engagements column, which includes longer anecdotes about couples, that it "gives you a glimpse into people's lives and you get to hate them based on some actual information."

Sutherland's observation cuts straight to the pleasurable core of ritually reading these box scores of age, profession, education and wealth. But it also makes him sound more like a character in a Nicole Holofcener film about girlfriends than a self-respecting groom.

G said that the way he represents himself in his blog is as "an emasculated nerd," but that his wedding blogging "hasn't ruined my masculinity. I actually feel good helping out."

Raven Brooks, a San Francisco consultant who married Mona Tedjarahardja Brooks in May 2003, said: "Every guy in college, every friend I have who is getting married, every story you hear in movies, the men are never involved because that's the masculine deal. It's one of those boundaries. But I've never paid much attention to those. I enjoy a lot of things that most guys wouldn't think are very masculine -- going to musicals, cooking -- and the truth is, the wedding really is just more enjoyable if you're involved in planning it!"

Brooks, whose new wife had asked him to start his wedding blog precisely because he was "notoriously bad at communicating feelings," said that he grew to enjoy his freedom to vent. "It's a good way to get things off your chest if there's something bothering you," he said. Brooks got good at it, at one point breaking down and writing about the "relationship brinkmanship" that the wedding planning was inspiring. "We are both trying really hard to make this wedding happen ... But along the way we have this knack for pushing each other's buttons and that has made for a rough past few weeks ... We have had some of the biggest blowups in our relationship."

If it's a good way to express frustration, blogging is also a way to express joy. And grooms who do not have built-in "Oh my god can I see the ring" conversations are relieved to have a platform where they can tell the world just how thrilled they are to be getting hitched.

Peter Boulay, a 34-year-old ISP technician from Rochester, N.Y., who blogs as the Blurf and got married last Saturday, was happy to talk about why he blogs -- "because it's uncensored," "because I get to vent and rant sometimes" -- but he was really pumped to talk about his wedding ceremony.

"I had the most beautiful wedding ever," said Boulay, launching immediately into a description of his first dance, to Elton John's "The One." "I am in a wheelchair," explained the happy husband, whose new wife, Suzette, is not. "So it was hard to figure out how to do the first dance." But the couple worked it out. And, said Boulay rapturously, "it was just amazing."

Some grooms also use their blog space to muse about some of marriage's more surreal rituals. Take this tale of a strip club bachelor party from Raven Brooks:

"I had a good time just drinking and talking with everyone. Some of the people there I hadn't seen in months or years. Of course they bought me some really nasty shots. My dad bought me something called a smurf and it was freakin disgusting."

Brooks' bachelor party did not, apparently, get much crazier than the smurf shots. His entry continues: "I'm not sure what to think about this whole idea of a 'bachelor party'. To me it means celebrating what you are giving up one last time. I don't look at it that way because I don't think that I am losing anything, I'm gaining everything. Women in strip clubs are fake in every sense ... How am I supposed to be saddened by giving that up exactly? I'm going home to an extremely sexy woman with real breasts that loves me unconditionally. What the hell would I want with a stripper?

Brooks is 25 years old and met Mona through Match.com when he was just out of college. His blog chronicles his feelings about his engagement in detail, right down to the fun of registering.

"Playing with that scan gun in [Macy's and Crate and Barrel] is just so much fun," writes Brooks. "It is like being a kid in a candy store." Then, more wistfully, "I wish every weekend could be like this. I suppose we just have to start taking time out for each other and not get caught up" in the wedding meshugas.

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We want to make you a part of this series. What is the state of your union? Did you find the one and never look back, or has finding lasting love been a marathon of trial and error? Did you have a fairy-tale wedding only to watch things crumble once the reception was over, or have you glided along in marital bliss since Day One? We want to hear your stories of joy, romance, heartbreak and pain. After all, partnership, as we all know, is a complex concoction of all of those things. (Please remember: Any writing submitted becomes the property of Salon if we publish it. We reserve the right to edit submissions, and cannot reply to every writer. Interested contributors should send their stories to marriage@salon.com.)

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