Mothers who rock

Has motherhood affected your creativity?

Willis: One of the real changes is that I don't have as much time. I used to be less organized and would just work on my music at the spur of the moment. I could wait until the last second. But now I have to schedule time to go write. But on the plus side, becoming a mother gave me a lot more confidence as a musician. I'm not as terrified of little things that might go wrong. It doesn't seem to matter.

Tucker: I've found that it's incredibly hard to get that creative space, that head space, where you can just write and write and write. I've always had to kind of force myself to write, except when I was 21 and had my own apartment and was depressed. You can do that when you're young, but when you're older you really need to set aside time. So now Carrie [band mate Carrie Brownstein] and I will work on stuff together. If I didn't have her pushing me along, I don't know how I'd do it. She writes a lot of the guitar stuff and then we make up the lyrics at the last possible moment.

Phair: It's such a hard question. But there's something about having a child that changes you completely. It's not theoretical anymore. You can think all you want about what having a child is like, but until you do, you don't know how it will change you. So as far as being an artist, I think it made me freer and not as concerned with what other people were saying about me. Not as worried about what critics or fans thought of me. That was probably the biggest change.

Are there songs you've written either about or for your children?

Tucker: "Sympathy" is about Marshall being born really early. Nine weeks early. It was a really scary time. I wrote it way after he was born and the song is like therapy for me because it felt so traumatic at the time. He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and I was just so worried for so long.

Thompson: I have, but you know I'm the senior citizen here, so I can't remember what. I wrote a song called "Only a Boy" when Richard and I split up. I have sung and written other songs for my kids, but Jesus, I can't remember.

Phair: Yes, "Little Digger" from the new album, which is about my son meeting my new boyfriend. It wasn't a hard song to write, but recording it and performing it is really hard. Just the other night at sound check, I started to play that song and just started crying. I wrote it when he was 2, so I've had a lot of time with it, but I haven't really played it since recording it for the album and it still has a huge impact on me when I play it.

Willis: I guess there's sort of a joke that every musician who becomes a mother writes "that" song. But yeah, "Reason to Believe" is about my son -- it's sort of a lullaby to him.

Linda, your divorce from Richard Thompson was well chronicled in the music press. Were you worried about the kids having to watch you go through a public breakup and divorce?

Thompson: Well, we weren't that famous, except in the folk world. What impacted the children was the divorce, not that it was in the papers, because they were too young. If we had been Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, it would have been different. But you know, divorce is just very, very painful for children. Personally, I would have stayed with the devil himself, just to not put the children through that. Of course, I'm not suggesting that Richard is the devil -- I mean, he's a nice guy.

What about touring? How did you deal or do you continue to deal with taking a baby on the road and to shows?

Tucker: Well, we're going on tour with Pearl Jam and we've already toured the U.S. twice with this record ["One Beat"]. Part of the time I take Marshall with me and part of the time he stays home with my husband [Lance Bang]. But being away from him is like slow torture. It's like you're going out of your mind. And it's definitely the hardest thing about touring. I know it affects the shows. As the days go on and I'm separated from him I become more and more unglued. You do what you have to do to get through everything and the trade-off is that I get to be at home with him all of the time when we're not on tour. And I get to do something that is really great and that I love.

Willis: I've mostly made short five-day runs to avoid being away from home for too long. I did a longer tour with my husband [Bruce Robison] and it was a nightmare. After a show we'd go back to the hotel and spend an hour cleaning baby bottles. I haven't talked to other musicians, but I would like to know how they handle touring. Especially if they are on my level, you know, not someone like Faith Hill who has the whole world catering to her.

Thompson: I don't think it's quite as difficult as some people may imagine, because you can take them with you on the road. Up until they go to school, that is. Well, except the minute I said that, I thought, What a fucking stupid thing to say. It is very difficult because you're with the baby all day, then you have to get someone to watch them during the set, and then you're with them again afterward. Come to think of it, it was pretty tiring.

Phair: In the last year my ex-husband has really stepped up. My son stays with me during the day and then with his dad, who lives five blocks away. When I'm on tour he stays with his dad or with his grandparents. The separation was much harder when he was younger. I'd go crazy after just a week of being away from him. [Laughs] Now that doesn't happen until the third week or so on the road.

Did you ever resent having kids because it may have made it harder for you to have a career? Although, maybe "resent" is too strong a word.

Thompson: Well, I think "resent" is a pretty good word. Again, it's not a very parental thing to say, but your kids take you for granted. And that's as it should be. But sometimes you think, You know something, they're a pain in the ass, they really are. But did I think I could have had a better career without them? No. The only time I've slightly envied childless people is that they don't worry so much. If you've got a child, even when they're grown up, you just worry all the time.

Phair: No, I resented my career. [Laughs] I kept complaining about having to write and make records and perform. I just wanted to spend all of my time with my son.

Willis: Anyone who has a baby, no matter what they do, is going to take themselves out of the running for some things. So, I'm not going to be up all night out with friends and running around town. I just don't worry about it much.

What was the biggest change for you as an artist and musician once your child was born?

Tucker: It's just definitely a challenge to do creative work and have a career when you're a mother. We managed because we had a nanny and Carrie would come over to our house every day and that's how we wrote the record. If I didn't have really supportive band mates, I don't know how we would have done it. They understand that if we were to remain a band we would have to really tailor things so that we could still do it. But it's not easy.

Willis: You know, I started making music when I was 17, and I was 32 when I had my son. So it was actually a welcome change in a lot of ways to stop making music for a while and to focus my attention on someone else.

Phair: Well, I sobered up. I used to have a few drinks and smoke pot and sit around and write songs. But after he was born I couldn't fuck around like that anymore. So, I have less time, but I get more done when I'm writing. I'm much more focused.

Thompson: Well, although it's kind of a sexist thing to say these days, it's perfectly true that when you have children your ambition changes, if you're a woman anyway. Biologically, something happens. You wouldn't die for a gig, but you would die for your kid. Maybe it happens to men, I don't know, but it certainly happens to women.

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