Thursday, Jul 24, 2008
Dinner in the Dark, yet another Manhattan mating trend, brings together swinging couples, sexy singles and pitch-black dining, complete with waiters in night-vision goggles.
May 28, 2003 | Finally, someone has figured out a way to use night-vision goggles to make love not war. Which doesn't -- quite -- explain why the first thing I see upon entering Dinner in the Dark, a play date for the Manhattan urban professional set, is a camera crew from Israeli television. Perhaps it's a slow news day in their home country?
Like Speed Dating before it, Dinner in the Dark is the latest gimmick in the high-stakes world of urban mating. The brainchild of party promoter Cosmo Party, Dinner in the Dark is a four-course dinner at a hip restaurant, held in complete darkness. The waiters wear night-vision goggles, leaving the guests free to eat with their hands, throw food, get naked, make out with strangers, or trade stock tips. The idea is that the dark will enhance all manner of sensual pleasures; Cosmo Party advertises it as a chance to "arouse your senses, smell the spices, speak to faceless voices."
It's sort of a singles event, but couples are welcome as well. Given that the organizers are French, presumably it is perfectly acceptable, perhaps preferable, to borrow another's date in the dark. When I called to make a reservation, Jerome Chasques, Cosmo Party's founder, requested in his inimitable Gallic manner that I bring a young man as my escort. Apparently, the girls far outnumber the boys on this particular evening and it is crucial to keep the numbers balanced.
The idea of going unprotected to an event where anonymous paramours are encouraged fills me with titillation mixed with dread. So I borrow my friend's beau, Jason, for the occasion. He's the perfect prophylactic: He's cute, he's 25, he loves to cause mayhem, and he's madly in love with a good friend of mine.
We arrive at Suba, in Manhattan's Lower East Side, at 7 o'clock on a Tuesday night. Right off, the Israelis, who work for a tabloid magazine show, shove cameras in our faces and want to know what we are wearing and how much it cost. Jason explains that he bought his powder blue Western shirt at a thrift shop. I'm wearing all black, in washable fabrics. Many of the other guests -- most of them in their 20s and 30s and looking like they've come straight from the office -- seem indifferent to dry-cleaning costs. They are in little black dresses, crepe skirts, crisp suits and perfectly pressed white shirts. As we mingle with our mojitos -- the lights remain on during the cocktail hour -- we decide that the three most attractive people in the room are all employees of Cosmo Party. This seems terribly unfair. We debate the ethics of groping a host in the dark. We decide it's probably OK.
Jason and I gulp down our second mojito before we realize just how difficult bathroom breaks will be in complete darkness. Because we are too busy making a last-minute dash to the loo, we lose all hope of strategizing our seating arrangements. We meet at a heavy velvet curtain where bug-eyed waiters take us by the arm and lead us to our seats.
In the private dining room downstairs it is blackest night. We reach to each side, stretch our hands across the table, engage in a futile search for cutlery. The waiters buzz past with flashing green eyes like fireflies. You can't see a goddamn thing.
Well, for about three and a half minutes. That's how long it takes for a guest a few seats away from us to start flashing the room with light from a cellphone. You've got to admire the chutzpah: Pay $90 for a novelty event, only to annoy everyone around you by breaking the rules. A month ago, we would have all been lighting up cigarettes, but that was before Mayor Bloomberg's ban, so we are mercifully spared the danger of dodging our dinner companion's flames in the dark.
Instead, we get to guess what the hell we are eating. The first course put in front of us ("on your left," the waiters inform us helpfully) is round and crunchy and filled with seafood. "Try the dipping sauce," someone calls out. That's easy; I've already inadvertently dipped most of my right hand in it. I lick it off. What else to do?
Fifteen minutes into the dinner, Jason decides he has had it with the enemy now dubbed Cellphone Boy, and leaves the table. He claims he is going to take advantage of the cover of the dark to beat him up and steal his phone.
To amuse myself in his absence, I strike up a conversation with the people whom I'm guessing are sitting right across from me.
The man is French, which seems exciting until I discover he is not one of the organizers we spotted upstairs. He donated the champagne, and in turn, he and his girlfriend got in for free. She is a journalist.
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