So you think women have unrealistic expectations of what men can offer them in a partnership?

Yes. In earlier days, women didn't expect that much. Your mother and grandmother said, 'Find a good provider who brings home a paycheck and cares about the children.' He wasn't a romantic partner; he wasn't an intellectual partner. But today women want much more.

And if women wish to be treated as equals -- for example, wanting to talk to men -- that may be interpreted as an attempt to feminize men?

That's a fascinating way to put it. How's this for an example: Let's say a man and a woman are watching TV, and "Masterpiece Theatre" is showing an adaptation of Henry James' "The Golden Bowl." Let's say the woman would really love the man to watch it with her and then discuss it with her afterward. She'd like the man to do that with her; she really would. But she's not going to get it, though.

It's not just about "Masterpiece Theatre," though. Women can discuss lots of things -- even sports!

Well, that's marvelous, it really is. But that goes into a whole other thing. Women are rising up in the corporate world. And a big part of that world is golf. Even if a woman becomes quite good at golf, the men won't want her in their foursome.

And why is that?

Well, this is rather primal, and it goes way back to the boys' clubhouse. I admire women who have made it up to the CEO level -- at Hewlett-Packard, at Xerox, at Lucent -- without playing golf. But it's harder, especially because a lot of the golf game is also about hanging out in the locker room. And I'm sorry, women are just not going to get into that world. It's a man's club.

So wait, if a woman wants the man to meet her on her ground, in this case watching "The Golden Bowl," then she's feminizing the man. But if she wants to participate in the activities we normally associate with men, say golf or discussions of politics or sports, then she's not welcome? Isn't that something of a lose-lose situation?

Well, take sports. Guys have been talking about sports since age 10, and sure, you can be interested in sports and know things about this team and those players and so on. But it doesn't have the same resonance, because you started so late. And so what men are really thinking is "OK, come on, you're not a part of this game."

This does not mean you can't get ahead. Women have credentials; they go to college and graduate school. And fewer and fewer men have the qualifications for these top jobs than ever before.

But men still retain the vast majority of the power in business, in government. They still run the show. But you suggest that there is resentment building up. How does that resentment manifest itself?

It manifests itself in a number of rather subtle ways. For example, I would say that our current presidency is really a man's presidency. Men have to circle the wagons, hold their position. The Bush administration has no problem finding conservative women -- both in the Department of Labor and the Department of Agriculture. These are women who are really anti-feminist. The Bush administration doesn't seem to care much about the votes they might get if they paid attention to women's issues.

Of all the statistics that you discovered in the course of doing the research for this book, which was the most surprising to you?

Of all the bachelor's degrees awarded last year, 57 percent went to women, which means that this incredibly important American credential goes to only 75 men for every 100 women. For this generation coming up, women are going to find fewer men with the same academic credentials they have. A college degree is not just an academic credential but a social credential. Are women going to marry down? We'll see what happens.

What, exactly, do you think that women want?

Aaah. Well, they want a full life, they want to be able to expand themselves, they want to discover their potentialities, which is fine and great. I've been teaching for years, and I'm impressed with my female students who are developing their capacities and all the rest. This is marvelous, but the question is, If they do this, will they be able to find a man who can live with them, given what they want in life? The answer to that question is becoming more uncertain.

So let's take me as an example. I am 32 years old, college educated, reasonably successful. What are my odds, exactly?

Well, I would of course never deign to speak for you personally. But a Miss X, with your characteristics, might statistically encounter some speed bumps. An increasing number of single men are gay -- some of the more interesting and charming ones even, the ones who will be glad to watch "The Golden Bowl" with a woman. There are still many straight single men of Miss X's age, but given her new, higher expectations, she might find these men a bit callow. I hope that word is still being used. I love that word.

Anyway, statistically, Miss X may end up being the second wife of an accomplished man who is a few years older than she, perhaps eight, nine, 10 years older. He will probably have children by his previous marriage, perhaps a bitter ex-wife. He will probably have some kind of career affinity with Miss X. He will be far more practiced at making women feel that he is taking them seriously.

And is he taking her more seriously, or is he just more practiced at making them feel this way?

I won't say "no comment," but what do you think?

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