Daddy's home

Dusty Baker, a father for the second time at 50, wasn't proud that his son became a poster boy for toddler obliviousness when he wandered into the path of danger in Game 5. But Dusty was extremely proud of Darren's amazing composure when racing out to retrieve bats taller than himself. The child takes his job as batboy seriously. He wants to do it well. And Dusty didn't try to discourage Darren's tears Sunday night, either, didn't tell him boys don't cry. "He's like his dad. He doesn't like to lose," Baker told reporters. He was proud of that too.

Baker's own father didn't raise him quite this way. The two men are extremely close now, but they were fierce antagonists years ago. Johnnie B. Baker Sr. coached his son's Little League team and years later still likes to brag about benching him for various infractions. A few weeks ago I heard the elder Baker tell a radio interviewer that nowadays, folks would call the police for the way he disciplined his son when Dusty was a little boy -- implying there was corporal punishment involved -- and I didn't know whether to chuckle or cringe. And they disagreed over a momentous decision about Dusty's future: Whether he should go to college (his dad's choice) or take a signing bonus from the Atlanta Braves and play baseball (Dusty's pick.) When Dusty defied his dad and signed with the Braves, his father had the bonus placed in trust, and the younger Baker sued the elder to get it back. The two men didn't talk for years.

They're talking now. Baker and his dad are headed off on a trip together, to watch some college football and maybe do some fishing too -- some old-fashioned father-son bonding time. They're going to talk about the next momentous decision in Baker's life: Should he return to manage the Giants, despite years of tension between him and owner Peter Magowan? Nobody knows what Baker's going to decide, but most observers think he's already gone.

I'm not so sure. His father has made it clear he wants his son to stay in northern California, and the aging Baker, whose health isn't well, has a pull with his son that he didn't have when the rebel Dusty was growing up (although the senior Baker would never ask his son to swallow disrespect.) Another factor is that Sunday night, Magowan took Baker aside for a private talk after the game, and finally said to his manager some of what he should have told him months ago.

"I told him how proud I was of the team and the job he did," Magowan told reporters after the World Series defeat. Funny how loss made the owner able to do what he hadn't been able to manage in victory -- reach out to Baker man to man and admit they need each other.

There are all sorts of fascinating race, class and culture crosscurrents behind the Baker-Magowan clash, but there's also something simpler: two towering male egos. Magowan feels he and the Giants organization don't get enough credit for the team's success because the media lionizes Baker; Baker feels he doesn't get enough respect from Magowan and the front office; and they've both seemed willing to walk away from each other because they can't resolve that impasse.

I've been waiting for someone to come along and be like J.T. Snow, to sweep all of us out of the path of a disaster that seems to be barreling toward San Francisco: Baker's departure. But maybe the two men can handle it themselves. On Monday I started wondering if the Series loss might help Baker and Magowan get beyond their male egos and realize that the manly thing, in this case, involves being tender, not tough. Could the pain of losing make them do what they couldn't while winning was making them feel invincible, invulnerable: forgive each other?

It's probably too much to ask, even if the Giants have shown they can be role models when it comes to stereotype-busting enlightened male behavior all season long. I'm still hoping Baker listens to his dad this time around, and keeps Darren a Giants batboy, but I'm prepared for the news that neither father nor son will be in the Giants dugout next spring, whatever Bud Selig decides.

• View blog reactions