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Tuesday, Nov 24, 2009
Two men -- an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian Muslim -- risk harassment, jail and death for their love.
Feb 21, 2002 | After nuns kissing rabbis and wolves necking with sheep, Ezra and Selim could feature in Benetton's next advertisement campaign. Ezra, an Israeli Jew, and Selim, a Palestinian Muslim, live, sleep -- and hide together.
The gay couple faces arrest at any moment: Selim for being illegally on Israeli soil, Ezra for helping, hiring and sheltering him. They took time off, on Valentine's Day, to describe their personal hell.
"We feel like rats. They run after us all the time," says Ezra Yitzhak, the head of a successful plumbing business where Selim also works. "We have to think carefully about where to go, who to go with and always have papers ready to explain our situation."
Their situation is unusual in the extreme. At a time when even sympathizing with the other side is enough to be called a "traitor," an "Arab-lover" or a "collaborator," Ezra and Selim broadcast their love for one another. And in conservative societies where sexuality is rarely discussed, the two are openly gay.
When Ezra accompanies Selim on family visits in the West Bank city of Ramallah every other week, Selim's parents greet Ezra warmly, sometimes even arranging for armed security men to stand guard by the door. (Palestinian neighbors are not so open-minded about homosexuality and Israeli friends, so Selim chose a pseudonym for this article to avoid embarrassing his family.) Selim is also welcome in Ezra's family in Jerusalem. Ezra's mother would prefer that he see a nice Jewish boy, but "it's a Jewish mother's problem," he says, and his brother and nephews accept Selim wholeheartedly.
"For me, it feels normal. I've been working with Arabs since 1967," says Ezra. "But of course it's totally unusual. In Israeli society, its normal for Arabs to be janitors or garage workers. But here we are on par, living together, going to restaurants and movie theaters together."
"When people ask me [about Ezra] I say yes, I have an Israeli friend," says Selim. "They accept me as I am." Perhaps because he fought and was jailed during the first intifada, Selim has never been accused of being a collaborator.
Selim, 26, is tall, shy and doe-eyed. He was locked up for two years for throwing stones as a teenager during the first intifada, released when the Oslo peace accords were signed and thrown back in jail for stealing a car. Ezra, 50, shorter and bald, has striking eyebrows, sophisticated tastes and fluent English. The pair met in the streets of Jerusalem and had a fling about six years ago. Three years later, Ezra and Selim bumped into each other again and became a steady couple. They've been living together in Ezra's Jerusalem apartment ever since.
"Selim was a product of the occupation: no school, nothing to look forward to, put in jail automatically, " says Ezra. "Since he's been with me, it's been the best period of his life: He's working, his health has improved, he's more relaxed."
Ezra's love opened new vistas for Selim: steady employment, clubbing in Tel Aviv, movies in Jerusalem -- activities that Palestinians often don't have access to, but the current armed uprising abruptly ended all that.
Repeat terrorist attacks in downtown Jerusalem mean people with Arab complexions can't walk two blocks without being carded these days. "I can't count the number of times we've been stopped together," says Ezra. Usually Ezra's eloquent patter, a few documents (including a precious letter from the Israeli security services that states Selim presents no known security risk) and well-placed phone calls solve things on the spot.
In October 2000, at the beginning of the current conflict, Selim was sentenced to eight months in jail for residing illegally in Israel. He was released after three months when Ezra appealed the verdict and the judge recognized that Selim was in Israel due to personal circumstances. The last time they were stopped was just two weeks ago in Jerusalem when security people yelled through a megaphone "Red Toyota -- stop!" They were searched down to their shoes and questioned for 30 minutes until Ezra managed to convince the police to let them go.
