Heaven: Bigger, better and headed for the border

This is going to be sappy. I am a huge advocate of online dating, not only because I met my partner there but also because I comprehend its potential for bringing people together who wouldn't normally meet.

My partner and I are a special case. We're both large men who prefer large men. The population for these individuals is plentiful, but it's not concentrated in any one area, specifically not in my area. Needless to say, I was searching for someone like me who would like me.

A certain Web site named BiggerCity is devoted to people with tastes such as mine. I filled out the personal ad form and waited for the responses. I noticed my partner had listed his personal information in the site's chat room. My interest was piqued, so I messaged him.

We found an instant rapport. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that he lives in Detroit, while I live in Alabama. This wasn't too much of a hindrance, since I wasn't looking to fall in love.

We had fun talking online and sometimes chatting on the phone. Mainly, our relationship consisted of random discussions familiarizing ourselves with each other. This was accomplished in much the same manner as it is by people who can actually date, but without the sexual requirements. Our tastes were varied but not enough to make either of us lose interest. We both like our red wine dry and our humor even drier. We met for the first time in March, after having talked since December of last year.

The halfway point was near Lexington, Ky., so we agreed to meet there, since he was familiar with the town. This was the beginning of a series of cross-country trips, huge long-distance phone bills, and nervous conversations about the future. Being two halves of the same spirit, as they say, we found/find each other irresistible.

He proposed to me in October, in the middle of the forest behind a cider mill in Michigan, surrounded by gusty breezes and golden trees. Although we have no current plans for marriage due to the current political climate, it is an inevitability.

I hear Canada is nice this time of year.

-- Joseph, Oak Park, Mich.

Hell: Southern comfort -- not!

I tried online dating a few years ago, bored and thoroughly befuddled by my options. I'm an Asian male in a large Southern city, the operative word being "Southern." Though outright racism is (hopefully) a thing of the past, especially when dealing with a supposedly more sophisticated urban population, I noticed something peculiar while trying to find my match. Even though I wrote and rewrote an open and witty profile, test-marketing it to various women whose opinions I trusted, and posting my best, smilingest picture, no one read my profile.

My hit count was lower than the ones on Mariah Careys latest CD.

After delving a little further, I saw why: Very few women (even Asian) chose "Asian" as the race of their desired match. (Interestingly enough, almost all "males seeking females" indicated that Asian was preferable, regardless of their own race.)

As an experiment, I looked at other cities with large Asian populations and saw a greater openness there. Alas, I was stuck with the hand dealt me.

My experience left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe I'll try again to find a match online, maybe not. Until then, I'll be stuck in purgatory.

-- Ivan Sian, Atlanta

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