Wednesday, Jul 9, 2008
Torn to
pieces
BY NELL BERNSTEIN
(02/16/00)
I am a child welfare worker and the reality of splitting siblings is a very common and difficult problem that I face on a daily basis. I agree that children should not be separated. However, there is a desperate shortage of available foster homes and adoptive homes willing to take "troubled" children or children over a certain age. The case of a mother that had three or four drug-exposed children is typical. These children all have medical problems. The actual work and time these children require prohibits some of these siblings being put together.
Yes, the situation is desperate, but let me tell you what is truly terrifying. Here in Oklahoma, our governor claimed that he is going to cut child abuse in half in one year. It appears that the way he is going to do it is by redefining child abuse away. Attempted murder will get your kids picked up, but little else will in the near future. So to reduce the overload that workers like me face (between 30 and 40 children on my case load), to alleviate the shortage of beds, they are going to just leave the kids in the home. At least till they start dying.
I personally am sick of people dismissing the efforts or motives of social workers. Most of us work tons of unpaid overtime. We won't get rich doing it. We are still blamed when parents kill children, as if it were our own hands around a child's throat. Responsibility must rest with the parent, the perpetrator. In my mind, social workers in general and child welfare workers in particular should be carried on the shoulders of society. And yet we have thugs who can play schoolyard games well, pro athletes, as our role models. The real problem is that people don't care about children, not the poor ones. We will hear about JonBenet, but not the dirty little minority kid. Moralizing and pointing fingers at the woefully underfunded system will not save lives, but it may make the authors feel better.
-- Scott Raybern
The heartache of being separated from siblings is compounded by the adoption laws in this country. Contrary to the popular opinion, most states are so restrictive, financially and legally, adoptees have no access to their original birth certificates and adoption records. With such restrictions, there is little to no way an adoptee can discover the adoptive names of their siblings. This greatly narrows the possibility of finding siblings and family once the adoptee is grown and can search. The knowledge of siblings, medical information, traits, and simply who you favor is a black hole for most adoptees.
-- Beverly Buchanan
Love
strands
BY SUSAN STRAIGHT
(02/17/00)
I read dumbstruck Straight's article about how she's willing to be "patient, because that's what we do" with regards to combing her daughters' hair. She makes it sounds like she's in the throes of some cosmic sacrifice because she has to comb black hair everyday. Gimme a break already with the martyr act. I guess black women who've had to make their children's (boys and girls) heads look good to present to a white world deserve sainthood! And by the way, the word for your kids' hair is not "curly" or "wavy" it's nappy, plain and simple.
-- Robyn Richardson
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