Monday, May 12, 2008
The mixed blessing of adoption; Plus: Readers shocked to find themselves agreeing with David Horowitz; Christopher Buckley "sincerely disgusted."
Feb 9, 2000 | Goodbye forever
BY BETH BROEKER
(02/07/00)
I know how this mother must have felt because I also failed to protect my daughter from harm and Child Protective Services got involved. She is now in the custody of her grandmother and I will never get custody of her again. I know deep inside that it is the right thing for her because I failed to protect her the way a mother should. Sometimes I question what it means to be a good mother. I also think, Will she ever wonder where I am or why she isn't with me? My real mother wanted nothing to do with me since I was five and I grew up resenting her and wondering what I did for her not to want me and I never in my heart wanted this to happen to my daughter.
-- Shawna
While reading your article, my 10-year-old adopted son called up to me from the bottom of the stairway. He said, "Mom ... do you want me?" I called to him, "No." He said, "No, do you want me as your son?" I called with all the love in my voice, "Of course I do!" He began to sing "You Are My Sunshine."
We adopted him three years ago when he was 7. I work for the Department of Social Services in foster care now and hear about the same situations that you wrote about in your article. That child is one of the lucky ones, as is our son and his new family.
-- Adrienne Nicholson
As an adoption lawyer and child welfare advocate as well as an adult adoptee, I was deeply touched by this account of a mother's relinquishment of her child. But perhaps the most important and easily missed point was the role of the author as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). In this story and countless others across the nation, the CASA volunteer is a central figure in an often abused or neglected child's life, his voice in court and his advocate for a safe, loving, permanent family. Without the CASA's involvement, this story may not have had such a happy ending. Hats off to the author and the many CASA volunteers who fight for the best interests of children like this each day.
-- Nan Newman, Esq.
Perhaps the mother's failure to protect her child was because of her inablility to protect herself. Why does society continue to blame the abused for what the abusers do to them? Until there is a great paradigm shift, many women will continue to suffer from the abuse they have endured, long after they enable themselves to get free.
Blaming the abused for their actions while in an abusive situation has to be ended. If not, does society then become the abuser?
-- Mary Faye Pratt
Do I have sympathy for a woman who fails to protect her child from harm? So what if she cries, the question is how long did her son cry while he was being battered and beaten. The baby got a safe home which is what he needed. She got nothing -- what she deserved.
-- Lee Klimas
Get Salon in your mailbox!