Caught between Milt's lips and a hard Matt

No one trusts me anymore, not even the people I'm not lying to.

Nov 22, 1999 | Nov. 22, 1999

Friday evening, Oct. 1

This afternoon, I met Jasmine at Renato's where she was getting half a head of highlights, in anticipation of her date tonight with David, the guy she picked up at Sexaholics. "He's a little too good-looking, don't you think? Says he's divorced -- but no kids, so he might have money to throw around." I tried to take a lively interest but my mind was still fixated on Allison's frightening accusations.

"He goes to three meetings a week and he's a compulsive flirt," Jasmine continued. We were walking to the Japanese grocery store where Jasmine buys her enriched eggs -- chock full of life-prolonging omega-3. "I told him I was once kept by a very generous guy who died of a heart attack. So he knows I'm in the market for a new sugar daddy, or maybe just a Sweet 'N' Low. This way he gets that I'm not a freebie."

Though I couldn't keep up with the mechanics of Jasmine's budding money-affair, I nodded agreeably. She was obviously pleased with her new project.

"Have you checked him out?" I asked. "What does he do for a living?"

"He's got a listed number but no obvious job. I think he plays the market. You know, this could be a great new career for you, too -- you've got the looks and the manners and the personality to snag a sugar daddy -- What's wrong with you?" she asked, suddenly. "You look terrible."

When I told Jasmine about Allison's late night call and her furious threats, her face went pale.

"Is she mad enough to really do it?" Jasmine wondered aloud. "Allison was always idiotic but never vicious!"

"Can she really have me arrested for trying to sell her book?" I asked.

"She can't prove it," Jasmine said, "unless April was taping you both -- then Allison could be dragged in as a witness. But why did you hide your session with Jack from Allison? It's not like you were trying to steal her business -- he called you." She paused. "Didn't he?"

"What do you mean?" I demanded. "If you can't believe me --"

"Stop taking everything personally! I'm just trying to think this through! You should have told Allison that Jack was meeting with that goon. God knows what Tom Winters told her. I'll call her and straighten this out," Jasmine offered. "You just need a mediator."

"No!" I exclaimed. "Don't make it any worse. She already thinks you're part of this! Besides, you're getting a bad reputation."

"Excuse me?" Jasmine looked insulted.

"Eileen thinks you poisoned everybody against her! And she's suspicious of you. She can't understand why your name has never come up in the investigation. If Allison talks to Eileen about you --"

"Oh, really?" Jasmine replied. "Well, maybe I'm smart enough to stay away from vipers like April. Maybe it's because I actually know how to take care of myself. The trouble with girls like you --" She stopped and pulled out her phone. "-- is you're all closet Cinderellas, afraid to grow up, to face things. When another girl has her act together, you turn her into a scapegoat." She deftly punched some numbers. "I had no idea Eileen was so jealous of me. Hello?" A victorious look flashed across her face. "Allison! It's Jasmine, a voice crying in the wilderness. Now please hear me out -- Don't hang up! Nancy's here, too, and you owe her --" Jasmine exhaled. "God damn it!" Defeated, she closed her phone. "The inmates are running the asylum. It's official," she announced. "I was wrong. You don't need a mediator -- you need a fucking lawyer. There's nothing more dangerous than a best friend who turns on you."

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