Teresa, the coffee, tea or me girl, spilled an entire tray of drinks on a first-class passenger.

Ethan got a curling iron stuck in his hair before the prom.

Two houseguests once caught Tom running around his kitchen in stained underwear.

Young Kim wiped out in a triathlon.

A hung-over Lex puked in the middle of his human sexuality class.

There are some other questions, but they're uninteresting. Lex pulls ahead, and in the end he wins.

His prize? A day-long safari, with a stay in a nice hotel and a ride in a hot-air balloon.

He gets to take one person, and he picks Tom. The two skip off.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

After a commercial break we see Tom and Lex climbing into a small airplane. The scene is intercut with a private interview with Lex. He sanctimoniously explains why he picked Tom: "If anyone should see something completely different and really experience Africa, I figured it should be him."

Subtext: Because he's a poor hick.

The supposedly swanky hotel forces its guests to stay in tents. The survivors aren't complaining -- there's even a weird little commode, actually in the tent with the bed.

Tom does his bit and plays the hick. "Our own pooper!" he exclaims.

He sits down on the commode like he's getting ready to test-drive it.

We groan.

Nope, actually that was Tom, groaning to let Lex know what he would do with a flushing toilet.

We see the now-obligatory shot of the prizewinners eating fresh fruit and amazing food intercut with footage of everyone else feeling miserable back at camp.

And then it's out to the plains of Africa. Here, "Survivor" takes it's third genre leap of the night, turning into a full-fledged travel magazine.

Click, click, roaar.

The footage is pretty spectacular. There are wild zebras, a baby elephant, lions hanging out in the grass, and thousands of wildebeests. They're migrating, and it's a scene to behold. We hear them grunting and groaning.

The pair marvel at how dumb the animals are.

Wildebeests -- the cows of Africa.

"They sound like me on a good Saturday night when I get home," says Tom.

What's next? A rhino and some joke about how horny he is?

When the two safari men get back to their hotel they find a couple of bottles of alcohol. Tom hits the bourbon, and some servers arrive with a pair of beers.

We can see where this is going, and we guess it leads to Tom parading around in stained underwear.

They head off for a dinner of grilled lamb -- none of that salad stuff that women eat -- and we watch the sun go down.

Tom likes the lamb. The smiling chef stands nearby.

"You da man" Tom says to him.

The chef, a Kenyan, stares at him uncomprehendingly.

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